


they might jump in if I show them to the deep end

by multifanwho



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Mutual Pining, idiots to lovers, lifeguard AU, nb!13, this is the definition of thirteen is baby, two idiots crushing on each other big time, wingwoman bill potts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifanwho/pseuds/multifanwho
Summary: Yaz Khan enjoys her job as a lifeguard at the local leisure center. No two days are ever the same, she sees the regulars and new people all the time and she gets to watch kids learn a life skill. It’s a rewarding job, but nowhere near as rewarding as when new lifeguard Jake Smith looks towards her for guidance. Infatuated with them from the start, will Yaz ever pluck up the courage to let Jake know how she really feels about them? And does Jake feel the same?
Relationships: Thirteen/Yaz, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 37
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recommend subscribing if you enjoy this because it's just a fun fic and I have absolutely no idea when the next chapter will be but if not that's cool too
> 
> title taken from Nightclub by the vaccines

Yasmin Khan is an hour into her regular Friday afternoon shift at the pool. She sits tall above everyone else watching over the cold deep water swimming pool where older members of society are doing their routine daily lengths to stay fit. Yaz’s favourite visitor is Graham O'Brien. He brings all the lifeguards chocolate at Christmas and is also married to her old friend’s Nan, which is nice. Grace comes along too sometimes, when she can. The building actually holds this- the big pool- a child's pool that has about four inches of water, a warm pool half the size of the one she’s overseeing now, a suspended water slide that curls around the top of the pool and an outside pool that has all sorts of tech to make jets and fountains and a small lazy river. It's the biggest around but not astronomically massive. However any size pool needs at least one lifeguard. 

Since it’s so quiet at the moment Yaz finds her eyes paying less attention to the pool and more on the other lifeguard at the deep end sitting on an equally high chair in the always attractive yellow and red uniform. Jake Smith. The new lifeguard that started a week ago with an undercut and a sewn on patch on their shirt that says _‘my pronouns are they/them/their’_. Everyone else has openly said (to each other behind Jake’s back) that they find Jake a little odd but Yaz, although she understands where her colleagues are coming from, thinks differently. Despite the fact they haven’t actually had a proper conversation between just the two of them yet Yaz finds them enticing. Different but a good kind of different. She just sort of gravitates towards them without thinking about it. She’s even started calling them Jakey as a pet name.

“How’s it been?” Bill asks. She’s rotating with Jake so that Jake can have their break. Yaz spotted on the rota that Jake’s been on pretty much all day and will be closing up shop with Yaz too.

“Slow. Nothing much going on.” Yaz sighs.

“Schools will be out in a bit.”

Yaz groans under her breath. She hates it when there’s no one there to watch over but she hates it even more when there are too many kids running wild or too many to count and keep track of. The weekends are better, since most are accompanied by adults, but Friday afternoons are hard. Groups of friends rather than children with adults always spell trouble but it’s nothing Yaz can’t handle. 

“Hi Jakey.” Yaz says as they walk past to go to the break room.

“Hi Yasmin.” Jake returns the greeting but doesn’t stop to chat. They do that a lot. It’s almost like they’re afraid of Yaz but in fairness it is still only their first week. 

“I still think they’re weird.” Bill says once Jake is a safe distance away. It’s a courtesy not many of the other lifeguards partake in. 

“No they’re not. They just live in their own head.” Yaz immediately jumps to their defense. There’s something undoubtedly charming about the way newbie Jake is.

“Exactly. Strange.” Bill stays firm with her opinion.

“Give them a chance.” Yaz pleads with her. 

Bill shakes her head like she does every time Yaz tries to get her to warm to Jake. “You have too much of a soft spot for them.” 

Yaz kicks Bill's shoulder. “Go and sit in your chair.”

“Yes boss.” Bill salutes and pretends to march like she’s in the military the entire way down the length of the pool.

Although Bill likes to call her that, Yaz isn’t actually the boss. She’s qualified and she’s worked here for five years, since she was eighteen, and she knows the routine inside out but the boss is actually Rory Williams who spends most of the time in the office during the week. In his absence, most people turn to Yaz thanks to her natural leadership skills. Not to say that her boss is bad- he’s just more preoccupied with studying for his medical exams instead.

Yaz watches the clock as well as the pool, waiting for it to strike half three when the inevitable first wave of students coming in after school will turn up. Inside the building the air is warm and smells of chlorine but a lifeguard's nose is used to it and the lights make it seem like it’s midday all day. However, outside it’s late May and the country is at the very start of a heatwave. All local school uniforms include blazers and the first place a lot of kids go is the big cold pool they can jump in. The exact pool Yaz is watching over with Bill. 

She hears them before she sees them, but for the sake of procedure she looks at the excited group of boys running towards the pool, brings her whistle to her lips and gives a sharp blow.

“Oi! No running.” She reminds them. The group of lads, probably no older than thirteen, slow down but no sooner does Yaz think they’ve learnt to behave a couple of them gang up on one of their friends and push him in. “No pushing either, come on guys you know the rules.”

 _“You’re mean.”_ Bill mouths across the pool at her.

 _“Who’s the one with a soft spot now?”_ Yaz mouths back. They smile at each other, sit back in their white raised chairs, and settle in for the afternoon. 

When it’s quiet, Yaz wishes it was busy. When it’s busy, Yaz wishes it was quiet. There are rare few days when she gets her perfect balance but with all the odds stacked up against her and the team today she keeps her head in a full on work mindset. Nothing life or death has happened in years, but if something were to happen now Yaz needs to be able to respond properly and to a high standard. 

It drains her. Her half hour break is welcomed when it comes around but then she still has to go back. Jake offers to switch spots so that Yaz can control people at the top of the water slide but at seven the slide closes and Yaz takes up the roll of walking around the side of all the pools, observing. Even when the density of people in the pools goes down- the children going home for tea and the much calmer business people and shift workers turning up instead- Yaz doesn’t let herself take her eye off the ball. She keeps busy using nets to scoop out swimming toys kids have left and puts them all in the lost property, kisses her crossed arms that she’s leaning against as she stands on the bridge over the intersection where the inside pool leads to the outside pool, and she helps Bill empty all pools except the big cold water pool at eight. That’s the regular procedure as Jake and Yaz are now the only lifeguards left on duty for the last half hour of the day. At eight thirty Yaz blows her whistle and politely asks for everyone to head out. Those swimmers then have half an hour to get changed and leave and while they do that, Yaz starts to teach Jake how closing time works. 

Jake watches how Yaz rolls in the lane dividers with such intensity Yaz feels more than a little under pressure. She doesn’t know whether it’s because she’s never had to teach anyone this before or if it’s just how Jake is. They’re basically silent all the way until Yaz is handing her the floor scraper to show them how lifeguards sweep out the water from the public changing stalls before the cleaners come in. Yaz doesn’t really need to explain it, since it’s one of their duties during the more quiet parts of the day, but she feels like she should fill the silence anyway. 

“You’re quiet.” Yaz notes. Jake has pretty much been on all day and Yaz is afraid they might fall asleep if they stand still for even a second. Or at least that’s what their silence is telling her.

“I’m trying to learn how the job works. I haven’t shut up shop before so this is all new.” Jake says. Yaz believes them. 

“Is that why you look like you have a stomach ache.” Yaz asks. She keeps her question light hearted and fun in order not to scare them off.

“That’s my concentrating face.” Jake says with their lips curling into a smile at one corner. “I usually get information first go and then it’s in there.” They tap their temple.

“I wish I could do that.” Yaz says.

The polite chatter ends there for the time being. Yaz doesn’t want to stop Jake from learning the ropes when they’re so strung up on doing it right the first time. Having only observed them from the distance of a pool away, seeing Jake up close makes Yaz like them more. How the shaven hair of their undercut looks fluffy and soft despite how it’s obviously dyed and subject to chlorine. How they hold themself as they walk. How they gently hum to themself a foreign song as they work. There’s something so comfortable about being around them.

By nine the two of them are finally finished with their duties and head to the staff changing rooms. Yaz retrieves her bag and clothes from her locker and only when she hears the lock on the single cubicle in the room turn and shut does she realise Jake is here too. She’s never started a shift with them before and she’s never thought about which changing rooms Jake uses. Overall unbothered by it, just surprised that they've hidden away, Yaz gets herself changed out of her bright red and yellow kit and folds it by her bag and replaces them with her sweats and her t-shirt. Socks and shoes next, not forgetting shoe covers so no dirt from the bottom of her trainers can get spread on the floor. There’s a shuffling from the cubicle and Jake appears again dressed in their normal clothes- a mishmash of blue, yellow and rainbow stripes. 

“Alright?” Yaz asks. She’s asking about how they feel about finishing their first week but the answer Yaz gets is to a different question.

“I wasn’t being rude. I don’t like people watching me change.” Jake shrugs. 

“It’s okay. I’ve always said they should have more cubicles anyway, one is nowhere near enough.” Yaz says with a smile. She doesn’t expect anyone to want to change in front of anyone else. 

“Thank you.” Jake says, seemingly out of the blue. 

“For what?” Yaz puts her folded uniform in her bag, places said bag on her back and waits for an answer.

“You’ve been really nice to me. I’ve not been myself this week, you know, moving to a new place and stuff so I’ve been quiet but then I guess you don’t know any other version of me so I would have come across as grumpy but you've been nice to me anyway.” Jake says. It’s the most Yaz has ever heard them say and it shocks her so much she just stands there and smiles trying to figure out something to say in response. “And I like the way you keep calling me Jakey. No one’s ever given me a nickname before.”

“Do you wanna get some fish and chips with me Jakey?” Yaz asks. She was going to get some on the way home anyway and sit on the bench on top of the hill about ten minutes away from home. Inviting Jake just feels right- although Jake does a double take like their ears are failing them. 

“You- you want to spend time with me? Outside of work?” Jake asks. 

“You’re allowed to say no.” Yaz says to make sure they know it’s not an obligation. 

“I don’t want to say no.” Jake shakes their head, the little ponytail where their hair is tied back and not quite long enough to hit their ears. 

“So come on then.” Yaz holds the door to the staff changing room open for Jake to walk past. 

“Thanks Yasmin.” 

“You’re allowed to call me Yaz as well, you know.” Yaz says. The whole ‘Yasmin’ thing is starting to grate no matter how polite it is. 

“Okay Yasmin.”

“Yaz.” Yaz repeats. 

“Right, yeah, of course.”

Jake hums that same song to themself the entire walk to the chip shop and then the additional walk up the hill. Again, Yaz finds herself kind of liking the sound that fills the quiet between them. As they walk the day turns to dusk and when they sit on Yaz’s favorite bench on top of the hill that looks out onto the city all the tension in Yaz’s body dissipates like it always does. Yaz enjoys these months where she can sit down after work and soak up the twilight skyline. It’s relaxing. Takes her away from everything that might be playing on her mind and reminds her that in the end, the natural world is beautiful. 

“Has no one else from work asked you out to drinks or anything yet?” Yaz asks, handing Jake their paper bundle of chips and chicken nuggets.

“No.” Jake says. The rustling of the paper is almost as loud as their voice. “I know they think I’m strange.”

“I don’t think you’re strange.” Yaz says to make them feel better about it. She knew her idiot colleagues were talking about Jake behind their back too loudly and she now regret not standing up and telling them to stop it. 

“No, you don’t think I’m strange. You just think I’m different more than anything.” Jake says. They look at her with their eyes daring Yaz to tell them they’re wrong. Unable to take up that dare because they’re right, Yaz shoves a chip in her mouth.

“I like different. Different is interesting.” Yaz says.

“I don’t mind that they think that though. I’m comfortable with myself.” Jake says. Yaz still doesn’t know them that well but they way they say it doesn’t sound like it’s forcibly said off of a manufactured and false script. Jake seems genuinely uncaring of what her new colleagues say. 

“Good for you.” Yaz smiles, finding their attitude very admirable. For a moment she worries that she’s being patronizing by saying that, but Jake smiles and Yaz doesn’t think about it again. 

They sit and eat, both having been in need for the food for a couple of hours now and Yaz starts to feel a little bit lazy. If Jake wasn’t here sleep would wash over her and force her to lay down on the bench. Except without Jake here she would just get up and go home and continue her meal there. Some teenagers cycle past on their bikes sounding like they’re on their way to a friends house for a party if their brief flicker of conversation is anything to go by. She wonders if Jake has any proper friends like that since they said they’re new to the area. Are they even going home to anyone or just an empty house? She wishes they weren’t such a mystery.

“Can I ask you something?” Jake asks.

“Sure.”

“Is it always that loud at work? I know everything echoes anyway because it’s high ceilings but it just seemed so loud.”

Yaz nods. “On Fridays and weekends, yes. You get used to it.” 

“I might not be able to do full days then.” Jake mumbles. Anyone could be able to tell they sound disappointed.

“Why? Are you that knackered because I was like that when I started and you do get over it, I promise.” Yaz attempts to reassure them not knowing if she’s saying the right thing.

“No, I’m fine, I just… sometimes when it gets too loud you know. Senses go a bit...” Jake blows out their cheeks and makes an explosion noise while their hands at either side of their head make an action that could be mistaken for impersonating fireworks. 

“I know. It is a lot sometimes.” Yaz agrees. 

“Where do you live?” Jake asks, ripping a greasy bit of battered chicken apart with their fingers. “Not in a stalker way, I just want to know how much further you have to walk.”

“Park hill flats. Over there.” Yaz points at the glittering building only a ten minute walk away. 

“Not far then.” 

“What about you? Where do you live?” Yaz asks. 

Jake shuffles around where they sit and point in the complete opposite direction. “About four miles that way.”

“That’s ages away on foot Jake! Why did you let me drag you out here?” Yaz almost chokes on her chip. 

“I have money for the bus, it’s fine.” Jake laughs at her. Yaz however is mortified that she’s made Jake walk at least an extra mile away from home. “Honestly, honestly it’s fine. I’m enjoying my chips. If I was unhappy I’d say something.” 

“It’s a Friday. Unsavoury things happen on buses on Friday nights.” 

“Like what?” Jake asks for more details.

“I once saw a guy pee at the back of the bus right before we went down a hill so it went all over the floor.” Yaz says. She could have said about the physical fight she once saw on a bus but somehow public urination is more horrifying. 

“That’s gross.” Jake grimaces. 

“I washed the bottoms of my shoes after every bus trip after that.” 

“You say that but think about all the kids that pee in the pools every day.” Jake’s eyebrows reach their hairline. 

“Don’t, that’s why there’s so many chemicals in there.” Yaz cringes. 

“We need that dye that turns the water a different colour.” Jake says. 

“Yeah, we do.” Yaz laughs. “If you could choose a colour for the dye what would it be?”

“The dark blue standard. You?”

“Red, it would empty the pool in seconds.” Yaz says. Jake bursts out laughing; a full, luscious and satisfying laugh that increases Yaz’s liking of them. She can’t stand fake laughs that are invented to sound pretty. “Less work for us ‘ey.” 

“You’re evil.” Jake snorts. 

“Am I evil or just smart?”

“Bloody hell.” Jake crumples up their empty paper chip packet and throws it at the nearby bin. Or at least they try to throw it at the bin but their aim is way off and the paper ball lands in the middle of the dusty path. “Wait let me get that. I’m a stickler about litter.”

“Me too.” Yaz says as she watches Jake pick up their own rubbish plus some other scraps too. 

“Our planet is so amazing and wonderful and I don’t get how people can’t see that and then decide to ruin it like that.” Jake says. 

They sit down much closer to Yaz than they have before and after Yaz’s initial shock over Jake’s choice she decides it’s a good thing. For the entirety of last week Yaz has never ever seen anyone less than a meter away from Jake and they haven’t come across as a super touchy person. Touch averse really, if anything, so the fact they’re comfortable enough to sit right next to her feels like a reward to Yaz.

“I mean look around us.” Jake opens their arms wide as if they’re trying to hug the picturesque horizon. “She’s beautiful.” 

Jake’s personification of the planet touches Yaz. She’s never met anyone with the same kind of perspective as them before. 

“I think exactly the same.” Yaz says softly.

“I wish we had the northern lights in Sheffield. I want to go to Alaska to see them at least once in my life.” Jake continues the conversation not realising how wonderful Yaz thinks their point of view is. 

“You like to travel?” Yaz asks. 

“Lots.” Jake smiles wide. “Only thing is you need money to do that.” 

“Is that why you’ve got this job?” Yaz asks, although Jake’s magic appearance a week ago is slowly starting to add up in her head. 

“Most places around the world need lifeguards. Once I have enough money I’ll pack up and head on out to somewhere new. I don’t care if I’m working at an all inclusive in Benidorm or on Bondi beach, if it means I get to travel then I’ll do it.” 

“You don’t ever sit still do you?” Yaz smiles, easily getting lost in those hazel-green eyes. 

“Sitting still is boring.” Jake says. 

“Even though it’s what we do at work all day?” 

“Alright you’ve got me there but…” Jake cuts off their own explanation by yawning and the simple action makes Yaz aware of the time. Jake’s been working all day. They probably want to leave. 

“We should go home, it’s late.” Yaz suggests.

“I guess so.” Jake stands to put their bag on their shoulder. Yaz does the same, quickly going to put her own rubbish in the bin. “Goodnight Yaz.”

“Night Jakey.” Yaz says and starts to walk in the opposite direction, then turns straight back around. “Text me when you get home?”

“I’m not going to get murdered on the bus home Yaz.” Jake says, turning back around too.

“How can you be sure?” Yaz teasingly raises an eyebrow. 

“If I do you’ll just read it in the news.” Jake shrugs. “Ready to admit defeat and call me strange yet?”

"Nah. Not yet." Yaz says. Somehow it makes perfect sense for Jake to say something like that. Jake looks incredibly pleased with her answer. 

“See you Monday Yaz.”

Yaz picks up the pace walking home. She’s lived here all her life but there’s still something in the dark following her when she walks home. Fear, mostly, but tonight she just wants to get home and see her family as soon as possible. The afternoon has been long and she’s ready for some reality TV show to rot her brain for an hour before she goes to bed. 

“Yaz is home!” Hakim shouts to let the rest of the Khan household know before Yaz has even set foot through the door.

“You’re home late sweetheart.” Najia says. Yaz heads straight to the washing machine in the kitchen to unload her uniform in there ready for washing tomorrow. 

“I had chips with Jake.” Yaz says.

“The new girl?” Najia asks.

“They them mum.” Yaz corrects her, rolling her eyes. It’s not like it’s the first time she’s had to correct her.

“Sorry! Still learning.” Najia puts her hands up in a declaration of innocence. “Did you have a nice time?”

“Yeah, they’re really cool actually. Good to get to know them more, we’ve barely had a chance to talk to each other all week.” Yaz grins.

“And she-”

“They.” Yaz groans. 

“-they’re your type.” Najia corrects herself. 

“How do you know what they look like?” Yaz flops down on the sofa next to her mother fully prepared to try and steal the remote off of her if the program on the screen isn’t to her taste. 

“Mum looked at their picture on the leisure center Facebook page.” Sonya says, helping herself to yogurt from the fridge that Yaz is pretty certain she bought for herself.

“Jake is not my type.” Yaz automatically denies. 

“Be honest with yourself Yaz, you’d shag that in a heartbeat.” 

“No I wouldn’t!” Yaz whines. She knows her taste and Jake is not it. Jake is too nice. Too out there- an elusive traveler no one will ever be able to get to settle down. 

“Sonya watch your language!” Najia threatens her youngest daughter. “Just be glad your sister has a new friend.”

"Jake isn't like that anyway. They're a bit… different."

“Freak?” Sonya asks. 

“No, just a bit intense at times.” Yaz says. She feels bad for saying it.

“Freak then.”

“Stop it.” Yaz says. “I like them alright. Just let me have a friend.” 

“My baby’s had a hard day at work I can tell.” Hakim wraps his arms around his daughters shoulders from behind, gripping onto her tight and not letting her leave. 

“Dad! Stop smothering me!” Yaz wriggles.

“Do you want a special biscuit from the tin like you used to with some hot chocolate?”

“Oh my- I’m having a shower then I’m going to bed.” Yaz announces.

Hakim lets go of her, playfully patting her shoulder, and Yaz goes off to do exactly what she says she’s going to do. The idea of chilling out with her family is nice but not what she needs tonight. They’re all in playful moods and all Yaz wants to do is chill out and so she does, laying in bed and scrolling through social media without much of a second thought to what she sees. When Najia comes in to wish her goodnight as she usually does, Yaz is filled with a sudden intrigue as to what exactly Najia has seen of Jake. She takes herself to the leisure center page like Sonya said their mum had and finds the introductory post for Jake.

Jake stands with Rory in uniform in front of the big pool smiling. Smiling like there’s no tomorrow, smiling like they’ve been given the best news in the world, smiling like they smiled at Yaz tonight when they talked about their travel plans. Their hair looks just as soft as it does up close, their eyes look just as kind and their whole stance looks so nerdy. Yaz feels her heart falter only for a second, but it certainly skips a beat as she thinks about Jake while looking at their picture.

Oh. _Shit_. 

It hits her.

Jake is exactly her type. 

* * *

Monday morning Najia drops Yaz off at the front of work before going to her own job and Yaz doesn’t even recall being this nervous on her first day. She hasn’t stopped thinking about Jake all weekend after her revelation. She found herself dreaming up scenarios, mainly Jake asking her out on a proper date but sometimes the two of them hanging out together watching movies. Other times it’s what it might be like to kiss them. Yaz stopped herself with that one and didn’t let herself explore anything else. It’s Jake. They’re new and still adapting to the job and don’t need Yaz sticking herself into their set out narrative.

“Bill.” Yaz grabs her friend's arm the second she sees her heading for the staff changing rooms and drags her over to the corner for a private word.

“A ‘good morning’ would be nice.” Bill mutters as she’s dragged.

“I have a problem.” Yaz says. Her bluntness shakes Bill out of her annoyance and now she’s looking at her with so much concern- like Yaz might drop dead.

“What problem? Are you sick? Are you pregnant?” 

“No I’m neither of those things I-”

“Morning Yaz.” Jake greets her as they arrive.

“H-hi Jakey.” Yaz says. She has to swallow down an unfamiliar lump in her throat to be able to speak again. She blames it on being spooked by Jake’s unannounced appearance. “Alright?”

“Yeah.” Jake smiles, nods once at Bill and then enters the staff changing rooms to get changed and ready for their shift.

“Why are you such a wreck around them this week?” Bill laughs but when Yaz doesn’t give an explanation (she’s too busy trying not to blush). Bill doesn’t find it funny anymore. “Oh. My God.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about them all weekend.” Yaz whispers. 

“You work with them dude!” Bill looks like she wants to shake her and Yaz wouldn’t blame her if she did.

“I know that! I know that, it’s why this is a problem!” Yaz hisses. 

“You asked them out to get chips just fine!” Bill hisses back. This conversation would be much easier to have if Jake wasn’t behind the wall a few meters away.

“That was before I developed a crush on them! That was a friendly gesture!"

"So you admit you have a crush now?" Bill asks.

"Yes! Just help me, please, I wanna ask them out to see where it goes. Be my wing woman." Yaz requests. Bill just shrugs in her face. 

“I dunno mate. Workplace relationships don’t usually end well. Are you sure you want to do this?” Bill says, trying to make her see sense. 

“I like them.” Yaz shrugs. “We’re friends, I think.” 

“I like them too. Still think they’re weird but I like them and I’m not thinking about taking them out on a date.” Bill sighs. Yaz huffs too, knowing that Bill is right but within her own moral code regarding their friendship Yaz will never let Bill find that out.

“Actually I should probably get to know them more first. They might have a secret girlfriend or something, I’m being stupid.” Yaz backtracks to get Bill off her back, but in reality it’s actually to get herself to back off a little bit. Although Bill is smirking at her rather than looking like she agrees. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Nothing.” Bill squeaks and that’s how Yaz knows she’s up to something bad. 

“What are you thinking?” Yaz asks. Bill starts to gradually walk backwards. “Bill.” 

“You want to know if they’re single, right? There’s an easy way to find out.” She looks back at the changing room Jake is currently in.

“Bill. No.” Yaz warns her to stop.

“Bill yes.” Bill grins, poking her tongue out.

“No.” 

“Yes.” Bill picks up the pace.

“Bill!” 

Luckily, Jake reappears out of the changing rooms ready for work just as Bill reaches the door, so at least they’re not going to be cornered in a small room. But still Yaz tries to keep herself calm as Bill decides to open her mouth despite Jake already looking like they’re a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hey Jake, can I ask you something?” Bill asks. 

“Sure! I love answering questions.” Jake's face lights up and Yaz visibly sees their fight or flight response deactivate.

“What’s your stance on dating at the moment?” Bill asks. 

“Oh, well, um, I don’t- I don’t really like dating. At all.” Jake shoves their hands in their pockets with their face all scrunched up and shrugs their shoulders up to their ears. “Never ends well does it? I think it’s better to just live your life with yourself and your friends. You can get all the love you need from that.”

Jake smiles at Yaz looking for her to back up her words. Yaz smiles politely and nods at them because overall it is a good philosophy- just not the one Yaz wanted to hear. 

“What about hookups?” Bill asks. Yaz dies a little inside.

“Hookups?” Jake frowns.

“You know. To deal with other kinds of needs.”

Bill wiggles her eyebrows while Yaz feels like she might die of embarrassment. This conversation should _not_ be happening.

“Bill stop it, you're making them uncomfortable- you're making _me_ uncomfortable.” Yaz tries to plead with them to stop. 

“No, it’s okay these just weren’t the kind of questions I was expecting on a Monday morning.” Jake laughs nervously and Yaz wants to just scoop them up and carry them away so they don’t have to answer. “I um- I don’t have- I haven’t actually had- ever. I’d like to but it would have to be a very special person so that I trust them and I haven’t found her yet so…”

“Jakey go and make sure the hot water for the showers is running, I’ll meet you there.” Yaz says, unable to let this go on any longer.

“Sure.” Jake nods, clearly very pleased that Yaz has given them a path out of this conversation and they’re very happy to walk it.

“What a shame.” Bill sighs to herself as she watches Jake walk away. “They’re blessed with those fingers _and_ into women but still a virgin at twenty six.”

“Stop it!” Yaz feels like pushing her so she does- a little lighter than she wants to but still, she pushes her. 

“I’m just saying, it’s a bit of a waste!” Bill shrugs.

“You’re going to end up with a sexual harassment lawsuit.” Yaz scoffs in disbelief at her behaviour. She’s lucky the boss isn’t in.

“You know I’m joking Yaz. There’s something about Jake that you just can’t not like, I’m only taking the piss.” Bill says sincerely. It’s not an apology but it’s something. 

“Crush or no crush, I don’t like the thought of them being uncomfortable.” Yaz says.

“Well don’t make them uncomfortable by letting them know you have a crush because your Jakey isn’t interested in dating and doesn’t do hookups. I look forward to seeing how this works out for you mate.”

“It’s just a silly crush because they’re new and I get on with them. I’ll get over it.” Yaz mumbles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> narrator voice: she will, in fact, not get over it
> 
> twitter: @helenasmells  
> tumblr: kiras-monkey-bum-face


	2. Chapter 2

Yaz is a mess. Not the okay kind of mess like when your bedroom is messy and you have guests over but it’s fine because they’re not going in your room- but the bad kind of mess where your guests come over almost every day to your room and you don’t have time to hide it. She feels that kind of panic any time Jake comes into her vicinity at work. Thankfully Jake isn’t the best at picking up on Yaz’s nervous body language- or any kind of body language at all- and carries on as normal but Bill sees. Bill sees it all and rolls eyes and pokes fun every chance she gets and Yaz can sense it in the air when Bill is planning something.

That’s why she’s so on edge today. The pool has been shut early for some training for the lifeguards and being friends, Jake is sticking by Yaz more than anyone else. So, on one side of her Yaz has Jake, glued to her like she’s a pool floatie stopping her from drowning, and on the other side she has Bill, ready to make digs and entertain herself as much as she wants through this session that's bound to be a tad boring. 

“Okay, so, time for some midweek fun. Who wants to be the human drowning dummy?” Rory asks, rubbing his hands together and trying to motivate some kind of enthusiasm.

The line of lifeguards stays silent.

“I’ll do it.” Yaz says when it’s obvious they’re just wasting time standing at the side of the pool. 

“Yaz you’re going to be an unconscious patient unable to hold onto a life-ring.” Her boss briefs her. “Who’s going to go in and save her?”

“I think Jake should.” Bill says without missing a beat. Yaz, who is in the process of removing her shirt so it doesn’t get wet, whips it off as fast as she can so that she can throw it at Bill in a way that would look playful to anyone else but to her it may as well be a death threat. “Being the newbie and all that. Show us what you've got."

"Um…" Jake scratches the back of their neck nervously, blushing as they do. “Going first is a bit daunting but I guess…” 

“Aw come on Jake.”

“You can do it mate.” 

“It’s only training.” 

“We’ve all been there.”

“U-uh…” Jake balls their fists up at their sides- a tick Yaz has noticed from watching them work when a child screams or a teenager laughs too loud near them.

The other lifeguards start chanting Jake’s name which doesn’t help. Being the only one seeing what’s happening, and knowing Jake has had a long shift today already, Yaz steps forward and gently taps one of Jake’s balled up fists. Their eyes open to the touch and lock onto Yaz straight away. Yaz doesn’t know for sure, but it looks like they’re blocking everyone else but her out. 

"Come and save me Jakey." Yaz says, softly nodding her head to encourage them. 

“Alright I’ll do it!” Jake shouts over the chanting of their name. The other lifeguards cheer as Yaz throws herself into the pool.

She will never be prepared for the shock of the water temperature. If anything it works to wake her up and probably will keep her awake for the rest of the session which she has to see as a bonus. She breaks through the water, showing off all the swimming lessons her parents paid for when she was a kid and ultimately set her on this career path, and sets herself up in the middle of the deep end. Before taking a deep breath and dipping her head under, Yaz looks back at Jake to give them an encouraging smile and nod of the head. They can do this. Yaz knows they can.

Under the water Yaz keeps her eyes closed but she can hear everything around her. Pretending to be the unconscious participant is never comfortable and they usually use a human mannequin but a couple of months ago some lads thought it would be funny to break in and steal it. She hears Jake take the plunge and feels them swimming towards her, causing ripples in the flow of the water around her and then she feels Jake place the lifebelt across her chest.

With added buoyancy to her body it's hard for Yaz to keep herself as heavy as possible however she understands why Bill volunteered Jake. Jake is strong and fit behind all of their lanky exterior. Jake's front is pressed to Yaz's back as they swim backwards, their arm holding tight around Yaz's waist. If it wasn't for the cold water around her body, she'd be blushing. As the procedure goes on Jake drags themself out of the pool and perfectly gets Yaz out and lays her on her back. Yaz opens her eyes for the last part, clearly not having to keep her eyes closed to pretend to be unconscious. 

"Obviously if she was really unconscious I'd check for a pulse in the wrist or on the neck and check the airways. Start CPR if needed and call for one of you guys to get an ambulance and empty the rest of the pool." Jake explains, outright refusing to touch the places on Yaz’s body they’re describing. Yaz feels incredibly proud of them, even if they did choose to execute the rescue fully clothed. There's nothing in the lifeguard handbook saying they can't though, and it is good practise for an emergency when you don’t have time.

Jake extends their hand to help Yaz up and Yaz gladly takes it.

"Well done mate, that was ace." Yaz congratulates them. "Why were you so nervous?"

"You- um, you ha- have abs." Jake stutters. Bill snorts, unable to contain herself. Jake hears and resists turning to look at her. "I thought you would have more muscle and be heavier but you weren't." They laugh, stiffly.

"Light as a feather, me." Yaz grins playfully.

Rory slaps his hands together in a clap so loud it sends Jake jumping. Yaz reaches out to help them calm down but Jake manages to control themself, leaving them both waiting for Rory to give the next instruction. 

"Okay who's next?"

Jake agrees to get chips with Yaz again that night. They know it’s a Wednesday but they’re both been working hard. It's another beautiful evening and they get to watch the sun actually set and the sky look like it’s alight with the other lifeguards doing the closing down, letting them get off early. When they’re alone, Jake is very chatty. They’re more at ease and although Yaz is wanting this kind of friendship to spread to the rest of the team at work she is also selfishly smug that she has Jake all to herself when they’re like this. Jake likes her. Yaz likes them- even if that has the potential to be a different kind of like. Jake sits close next to Yaz again as they eat together. Yaz has noticed they do that when they’re tired and it makes sense considering they’ve had a training reminder on top of their shift today. Like they’re depending on Yaz to catch them if they start to drift off into sleep.

"You really thought my rescue of you was good?" Jake asks for some affirmation. 

"It was by the book Jake. You did everything you were supposed to and didn't hit my body against the side of the pool." Yaz says. “That always leaves a couple of bruises when Bill does it.”

Jake seems pleasantly satisfied with the answer they’re given, however Yaz notices their feet digging themselves into the dry patch of grass (which is just dried mud since the grass is so crispy) creating dust as they slide back and forth. 

"And you didn't mind me touching you?" Jake asks. 

"No. Why?"

Yaz tries to ask the single word questions with a level and calm voice but it comes out as more of a rushed squeak. Does Jake know she has a crush on them? Did she do something to give herself away to them? Did her body betray her when Jake scooped her up and carried her out of the pool?

"I like to ask people before I touch them in any way. I didn't get the chance to ask you." Jake explains for her. 

"Is that the real reason you were nervous? You were worried about not being a gentleman?"

“Do you mind not using gentle _ man? _ I get what you’re saying but I don’t-”

“Sorry. Gentle _person_.” Yaz corrects herself quickly, sensing that Jake may end up spiraling into a great big speech. 

“Thanks.” Jake smiles at how easily Yaz adapts to their request without question. "Yes. You’re right, that’s why I was nervous."

"You're allowed to touch me whenever Jake, I don't mind." Yaz says, putting her crush to the side for a moment to genuinely tell them it’s okay.

"I just like to ask." Jake shrugs.

"You like asking questions as well as answering them, don't you?" Yaz assumes. 

"Of course I do. Asking them is just as fun because you get to hear other people's answers. If it's just my answers all the time then it's one note and boring."

"Go on then.” Yaz shifts her body sideways and lifts her legs up onto the bench to cross them, her food dipping down in her lap. “Ask me something and I'll answer it."

"Um okay." Jake pauses to think. Yaz likes their thinking face. "If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?" 

"I wouldn't change anything otherwise I might not be the person I am today." Yaz says straight off the bat without having to think. 

"Good answer. I like that." Jake says. 

"What about you? What would you change?" Yaz reverses the question. Jake takes their time to finish chewing her chip before answering. 

"I want a girlfriend." 

Yaz almost chokes. She hadn’t expected something so mundane.

"That's it, that's all you'd change? You wouldn't make it so that you could travel everywhere for free and then you wouldn't have to be a lifeguard?" Yaz asks, trying to understand. 

"What's the point in seeing the planet if you've not got anyone to share it with? And I like being a lifeguard, why would I give it up?" Jake asks but it doesn’t sound like they necessarily want an answer. 

“What happened to ‘I don’t like dating, I just need my friends’?” Yaz asks. 

Jake grins at her with bright white teeth, looking pleased with themself beyond belief. 

“I thought Bill was going to try it on with me so I lied.” Jake says. “She’s not my type.” 

Yaz smiles and focuses on how easily Jake can lie in front of Bill- it’s taken Yaz years to be able to do that- instead of asking ‘what is your type’. She laughs at the idea of Bill being completely fooled, and she laughs even more at the fact that Jake has absolutely no interest in her. Bill is so smooth she can usually get anyone she ever wants on a date but not Jake. Jake is out of her reach and for once Yaz might actually have a chance. 

“Why are you laughing?” Jake smiles but behind their curled lips Yaz gets a sense of worry that she’s laughing at them not with them. 

“I think it’s amazing you dodged Bill like that.” Yaz explains, calming herself down. It’s only really funny to her, no one else will understand the depths of her friend. “I really like your outlook on the world Jakey.”

“I like you.” Jake says. They reach to rip off a part of their battered sausage but then frantically abandons the action to backtrack on themself. “Not in a weird way!” 

“I know.” Yaz smiles in a friendly way.

“We’re friends.”

“I know.” Yaz nods. 

Jake shuffles and goes through a series of moments- looks at Yaz, opens their mouth to speak, looks back at the horizon, looks at Yaz, opens their mouth to speak.

“I’m going to leave now.”

“Sit down Jake.” Yaz tugs on their shirt. She wouldn’t dare tug on their shirt or force them to stay if she sensed real panic or fear but this is one-hundred percent just Jake overthinking the way they’ve said a few words. “Breathe.” 

“You know what I meant though?” Jake checks.

“Yeah, I know what you meant.” Yaz clarifies.

They talk about normal stuff after that. Jake asks how Yaz’s family is and Yaz asks how Jake’s tropical fish are getting along. She learnt that yesterday- that Jake has a massive tank of tropical fish. ‘They calm me down’ is what Jake said. ‘I’ve had them since I was fifteen’. They have thirteen of them all in all in a 180 liter tank and Yaz noticed they also have a tattoo of their first ever fish on the side of their body just under their ribs. No need to ask why she was looking but she saw it and asked about its origins and Jake happily answered with enthusiasm.

They finish their dinner with Jake offering to walk the four steps towards the bin with both of their rubbish.

“I really should get home now.” Jakes says. 

Yaz prepares to say her usual kind of goodbye but suddenly remembers she needs to give Jake something she got for them.

"Wait, come with me Jake I have something for you but I left it at home." Yaz says. She starts to walk in the direction of her flat but can only hear her own set of footsteps. She stops and turns to look back.

"Will I have to see people?" Jakes asks, still standing at the bench.

"You can stay outside, you don't have to come in. I just need to give you this before tomorrow. Come on."

Yaz holds out an extended arm, willing Jake to come with her at the very least. Rolling their eyes Jake walks towards her, but what Yaz didn’t count on is Jake taking her hand. Thankfully Jake starts to list guesses as to what Yaz is going to give them and doesn’t realise how Yaz’s palm starts to sweat out of shock and then nervousness of being found out. All of their guesses are wrong and Yaz simply has to repeat the word ‘no’ over and over again as they walk hand in hand until Yaz reaches her front door. She tells Jake to wait where they are and heads into the flat, dodging her family as best she can.

On the first of every month no matter what day it is the leisure center sets up a big inflatable floating assault course. Since tomorrow is a Thursday it’ll be set up in the afternoon ready for the after school rush and will stay up until about half seven. In addition to the sound of excited laughter and screaming and kids having fun, the pool plays music through the speakers. From past experience, it’s loud. Yaz grabs the gift out of the small box it came in and rushes back outside to Jake.

“For you.” 

Yaz hands over the silver cylinder for Jake to inspect. They shake it, twist it around in their hands and hold it up high yet still can’t figure out what it is.

“What is it?” Jakes asks. 

“Special ear plugs.” Yaz takes the cylinder back and unscrews the top to reveal two flesh coloured buds inside. “People wear them at concerts because they’re designed to filter out the bad vibrations from loud music coming out of speakers. You can still hear but they filter out the bad sounds. I thought you might want to have some, it’s gonna be bad tomorrow. Well, not bad just-”

“You got these for me?” Jake asks, evidently touched. 

“Yeah.” Yaz smiles.

“How much do I owe-”

“You don’t owe me anything Jakey. I got them for you. A gift.” Yaz says. It’s sort of a lie. She got some for herself last week and there was a buy one get one free offer and she thought of Jake in the process.

“How do I put them on?” Jake asks.

“Use your opposite arm over your head and pull on the top of your ear. Then use your other hand to pinch the little tab and just push it in.” Yaz says, doing the actions with her hands as she explains for a visual.” 

“Um…” Jake mumbles, looking lost. 

“Do you want me to help you put them in so you know how they feel?” Yaz offers. “They can feel uncomfortable if they’re not in the right way.” 

“Can you? I’m better with visual instructions.” 

“Sure.” Yaz tips the earplugs out into the palm on her hand. “You don’t mind me getting up in your personal space?” Yaz quickly checks. 

“Nah, it’s fine. Go ahead.” Jake encourages her. 

Yaz steps forward and gently pulls up one of Jake's ears and places an earbud inside Jake’s ear the best she can without thinking about how her breath must be tickling the peach fuzz on their cheek. She moves to the other side, noticing they’re both very silent while Yaz is doing this, and tucks Jake's hair behind their ear and does the same. 

“How does that feel?” Yaz takes a step back and asks. 

“I can barely feel them in there!” Jake grins. “Must be your magic touch.”

“Can you hear as well that my voice is still clear? Or at least it should be like that.”

“I can, yeah.” 

Jake plucks the bugs out of their ears and Yaz hands over the cylinder they’re kept in so they can put them away safely. Yaz is filled with the warmth she usually gets when an act of kindness gets accepted. In this case it’s just so rewarding to be able to help a colleague as well and maybe it means Jake can work longer shifts and save up the money they need to travel the world because of it.

“Can I hug you?” Jake asks. 

“Yes, Jake, you can hug me.” Yaz sighs through her smile. She knows now that Jake prefers to be respectful with touch but she didn’t expect them to ask before doing literally anything at all. 

Nonetheless, it’s still sweet that they asked, and Yaz welcomes their body with open arms. Jake is a good hugger. Their arms are the right length to fully envelop Yaz, they have just the right squeeze so that Yaz feels something but isn’t suffocated, and their head fits on Yaz’s shoulder perfectly.

“You’re a really cool person Yaz.” Jake says. Their breath tickles Yaz’s neck, coaxing out goosebumps from under the skin.

“You too.” Yaz says with a smile. She can honestly say that she’s never met anyone quite like Jake before. “Go and get some sleep Jakey. Big day tomorrow.” Yaz lets them go.

“Sleep well Yaz.” Jakes smiles with a small wave. 

Yaz turns back to her home and goes inside feeling overly happy with herself although at the same time, she’s being careful not to overthink their interactions together this evening. 

“Who was that?” Her mother asks straight away. 

“Jake.” Yaz says bluntly, hoping it will deter any more lines of questioning.

“Why didn’t you invite them in?” Najia asks.

“Why do you think?” Yaz scoffs. 

“Because they’re weird.” Sonya pipes up.

“They’re not weird- you just don’t like the fact they do what they like and you just wish you could be like them.” Yaz points accusingly at her sister.

“Are you saying I’m jealous of your airhead lifeguard friend?” Sonya asks, offended.

“Yeah. I am.” 

“You’re not jealous of them Yaz- you don’t want to be them you want to be  _ with  _ them.” Sonya spins it around on her. 

“Shut up, no I don’t.”

“Please don’t start arguing.” Najia sighs in a feeble attempt to get her children to stop bickering. 

“I’m going to shower.” Yaz announces.

She doesn’t reappear again that evening in dread of being teased. 

* * *

The next day Yaz turns up for the afternoon shift after her two hour break. She’s usually on in the morning until one on Thursdays but since the floating playground attracts so many more people and you need eyes on it from all angles Yaz got assigned an extended break for lunch so she can come back and help in the afternoon. That means she’s arrived back at work just in time for the opening of the course. Thankful that she didn’t have to help put it up since it’s such a monster Yaz goes and stands next to Jake in a thoroughly good mood. The music is blaring through the old speakers on the walls with a crackle, the volume of voices is already on the louder side and Yaz is eager to know if Jake is using their gift. 

“These are great! Thanks!” Jake shouts unexpectedly and points at their ears. It makes Yaz flinch.

“You're shouting a bit Jakey. Just talk normally.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Jake apologises, awkwardly shuffling too.

“It’s all good.” Yaz smiles to reassure them. “Ready for the school kids?” 

“There’s some already getting changed, they arrived about two minutes before you. Probably bunked off to get here first.” Jake informs her.

“Best of British.” Yaz mutters, knowing what’s in store.

Soon enough there’s an influx of teens and younger kids with their parents- some heading to the slide, some heading to the other pools to warm up first, and others heading directly towards Bill at the start of the course. Bill is always the best choice for the job with her firm but fair attitude. Within half an hour Jake has attended to two separate twisted ankles and Yaz has sorted one sprained wrist- all of their patients not really caring once they find out it’s nothing broken or serious and going to play somewhere else. Yaz is convinced some kids just fall off for the fun of it and then their bodies transfer extra water onto the inflatable when they go around again. 

A couple more hours pass with nothing else much happening, until a small, polite voice grabs both Yaz and Jake’s attention. 

“Excuse me.”

A young boy with goggles on his head and bright green fish on his dark blue bodysuit tugs on the hem of Jake’s shirt. 

“Hey there.” Jake crouches to get on his level. With one less pair of eyes on the water Yaz only listens in from then on.

“I don’t know where my dad is.” 

“Okay. Where was he the last time you saw him?”

Jake's voice is so calm and comforting Yaz finds herself being reassured just from hearing them and she’s not even the one that's lost. 

“I- I said I was going to go down the slide and- and he said he’d meet me at the bottom but he wasn’t there!” The boy sounds like he’s about to cry and Yaz wishes it was socially acceptable for her to just turn around and hug him and say everything is going to be okay.

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s your dad’s name so that my friend can go and call for him over the speaker?”

“I think it’s Isaac.” He rubs his eyes. 

Now with a name Yaz starts to make her way over to the PA system installed on the back wall. She’s only ever had to use it three times before but the child in her gets more and more excited with every step over the power you have when you’re making an announcement. Through that though, she keeps an ear on Jake’s conversation, clinging onto the words exchanged in case it gives any clues.

“Let’s sit down.” Jake removes their flip-flops and sits on the edge of the pool, dipping their feet in the water. “What’s your name?”

“Jacob.”

“That’s like my name!” Jake gasps over dramatically. “I’m Jake.” 

Yaz is too far away to hear the rest of the conversation over the music and the screaming and the shouting but she trusts that Jake is doing their best to calm the boy down. She walks over to the PA system attached to the wall and picks up the phone- momentarily pausing the music which grabs swimmers attention anyway. 

“Isaac your son Jacob is with the lifeguards at the race pool. He is safe, Isaac please come and collect you son from the lifeguards. Thank you.” Yaz says. 

The music returns when she puts the phone back on the wall. She knows she should probably be keeping her eyes on the water as she walks back but she’s positively transfixed on Jake interacting with this kid. They’re talking with their mouth and their hands, splashing their feet in the water telling some kind of story to keep the boy's mind off of the fact he feels abandoned by his father and Yaz cannot tear her eyes away. They’re so kind and attentive and cute and  _ oh my god have my children. _

Now that, that thought is dangerous. That thought should never have crossed her mind and she should never have imagined Jake, who has only just started working here not long ago at all, being domestic with her. Yaz forces herself to get herself together, eliminating any chance of those thoughts coming back up again because then it just makes life awkward and uncomfortable. She doesn’t want to make Jake uncomfortable. 

No sooner does Yaz reach the pair that are splashing their feet around in the water a man with a striking similarity to Jacob comes round the corner with a protective and concerned look on his face. Upon seeing his son sitting with Jake, Yaz watches him become overwhelmed with relief. 

“Dad!” The young boy shouts. Yaz holds her tongue and doesn’t tell him off for running the few steps towards his dad.

“I’m sorry kid.” Isaac hugs his son while Yaz helps Jake up by offering a hand. “I’m so sorry, I went to the toilet thinking you would be queuing for a while, I’m sorry.” 

“At least he wasn’t peeing in the pool.” Jake whispers. Yaz laughs some air through her nose and leans into Jake’s side gently pushing them.

“Thank you. Thank you.” The grateful father says to both Jake and Yaz. Yaz wants to give Jake all the credit, but she keeps her mouth shut and lets them control how they’re perceived instead.

“He came to us, he did the right thing.” Jake says.

“Thank you anyway.” He smiles, scooching his son away. 

“Bye Jake.” Jacob looks over his shoulder and waves. Jake waves back with a smile on their face. “She was nice.”

“Do you mind?” Yaz asks immediately. 

“Mind what?” Jake asks, both of them turning back to monitor the great big inflatable in front of them.

“Him calling you she.” Yaz nods at the father and son duo just as they disappear.

“Nah. He’s what- five probably only just turned five. He still has time to learn.” Jake brushes it off.

“Even though it’s stitched into your shirt as a reminder?” Yaz points.

“Please, he probably hasn’t even learnt what pronouns are yet. If the dad had said it, then I would have had a problem. He can read but… young kids I don’t really care.” Jake scrunches up their face not in disgust but out of nonchalance. 

“God you’re patient.” Yaz smiles at Jake’s tolerance.

“He’s just a kid. Kids deserve patience and calm voices.” 

Jake goes back into their head then as they watch the pool. Or maybe it’s just Jake's concentrating face. Either way, Yaz feels herself getting flustered over their chilled out attitude and suddenly feels her body getting very hot. Jake starts to wander around the edge of the pool with their hands behind their back like they’re on a patrol. No longer within hearing distance Yaz lets out a strained sigh and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear out of habit.  _ It’s just Jake _ Yaz has to remind herself. It’s alright to find them cute and sweet and admirable at work but not if it’s starting to affect her like this. Jake is just Jake.

But Jake is what she likes and that’s what makes it hard.

Yaz looks over at Bill to ground herself in reality. Her friend is stationed at the start of the inflatable course making sure there aren’t too many people on at one time however at the same time Yaz looks over at her Bill catches her eye and starts to take the mickey out of her; pretending to lean into people who aren’t next to her, smiling stupidly and tucking invisible hair behind her ear. Yaz mouths  _ ‘fuck off’  _ at her, keeping her lips generally unreadable for the rest of the public for the sake of keeping her job. Bill mouths back ‘ _ stop it’ _ and she’s right. 

But it’s not like Yaz can help it.

A couple of hours later the amount of people using the inflatable is calming down and Yaz feels more relaxed. She switches places with Bill, mainly to prove to her that she can go a whole shift without speaking to Jake, however Yaz moving away from Jake doesn’t mean that Jake won’t actively seek out Yaz. 

“Have you two ever done it before?” Jake asks.

“I tried to kiss her before on a night out but I didn’t get very far.” Bill teases, resting her elbow on Yaz’s shoulder with a stupid smile on her lips. She’s not lying, but Jake doesn’t understand and Yaz doesn’t want to make an effort to explain so the three of them simply stand there.

“What?” Jake looks to Yaz for an explanation. 

“It’s a joke about… never mind.” Bill removes her elbow in defeat.

“I’ve tried it before but only got a quarter of the way.” Yaz answers Jake’s proper question. 

“Do you think I could have a go?” Jake asks.

“I’d love to see that.” Bill preemptively laughs. Yaz nudges her in the side. “Sorry.”

“Have a go now while no one’s around Jakey.” Yaz says. 

“You sure I’m allowed?” 

“Fuck the rules Jake, just do it.” Bill says in her always encouraging way.

“You are the one who says we all only have one shot at life.” Yaz folds her arms in front of her stomach and kinks are daring eyebrow. Jake grins in response.

“Hold these.” Jake takes out the earplug they’ve been wearing all afternoon and hands them to Yaz who swiftly puts them in her pocket for safe keeping.

“Go on Jake!” Bill shouts despite Jake only being about a meter on to the course. “Stop flirting.” Bill whispers.

“I’m not flirting.”

“We all only have one shot at life Jakey.” Bill imitates her (poorly). “Come and save me Jakey.” Bill pretends to swoon.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Yaz huffs, unimpressed by her childishness. 

Noting that her efforts aren’t provoking the right reaction Bill stops. Yaz reckons she’ll get an apology note slipped into her locker either tonight or tomorrow but for now the two of them watch Jake try to go over all the hurdles and squeeze through tight spots and over raised parts. They’re actually quite good considering it’s only their first go. They manage to keep their balance on the corner part where the course double backs on itself, however the not as sturdy section that comes next throws Jake off guard and into the water like their legs are made of jelly. 

“Kudos to them.” Bill laughs. 

Jake is evidently a strong swimmer as well as well practiced in balancing acts and they glide through the water and push themselves up and out with ease. Yaz could only feel them swimming last night but to see them in action is a whole other spectacle.

“That were great that!” Jake pants and peels off their shirt. Yaz is awestruck at Jake’s newfound trust and boldness in showing their body; Bill not so much. 

“Didn’t realise you could swim in a binder Jake.” Bill says. 

“I don’t. Well- technically I do. Obviously.” Jake gestures towards their chest. “When I’m training I don’t but when I’m on duty I hardly go in the water anyway. I bring a fresh one just in case.” 

“I can cover you if you want to change now.” Yaz is quick to offer.

“I don’t have a second shirt yet.” Jake mumbles, realising the position they’ve put themself in. “I probably should have thought of that before I-”

“Take my shirt Jake.” Yaz says, continuing her streak of good deeds and removing the fabric from her body.

“Are you- wow- are you sure?” Jake stutters but their hand takes Yaz’s top anyway.

“Yeah.” Yaz shrugs. “I have a spare and we’re about the same size.” 

“Yaz letting me share her shirt so I’m comfortable. Brilliant.” Jake mumbles to themself as they walk towards the changing rooms, Yaz’s warm dry shirt in one hand and their sopping wet one in the other.

“I know you’re comfortable with your body Yaz but you know you could have just offered them your spare one. You didn’t have to strip off.” Bill says. Yaz only just realises that that was an option.

“I-”

“And you know they were staring at your abs right? They did it last night too.” Bill continues to inform Yaz on her blindness which Yaz is too speechless to comprehend because  _ did Bill just suggest Jake might like them back? _ Bill tuts, hands on her hips. “God, you two need to get a grip.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, writing this: oh my god they're so DUMB I want to smack their heads together


	3. Chapter 3

Jake lays across the bench with their head in Yaz's lap looking up at the stars after their now weekly Friday fish and chip meal with Yaz. Despite her stupidly big fat crush on them Yaz takes her enjoyment from brushing her fingers through the shaven part of Jake's hair and listening to them ramble. She tells herself it doesn't have an emotional effect on her but by the time she gets home she's yearning so much for their company her bones ache and the pain sends her to sleep.

"What do you think the aliens are doing now?" Jake asks.

Yaz smiles and lets the warmth of the question be stored inside her chest for when she needs it later to soothe herself in Jake's absence.

"I'm not sure Jakey."

"Guess. Have a stab in the dark, we'll never actually know the truth." Jake encourages her to explore her imagination. 

"Probably looking down at us and seeing how society is destroying itself, treating humanity like a social experiment." Yaz says. After an incident with an argumentative mother at the pool today Yaz isn't really in the mood to compliment the human race tonight.

"So like the Truman Show but with aliens instead of a God?" Jake says.

"Pretty much, yeah." Yaz laughs gently, not sure whether Jake has their Jim Carey films muddled up or not. "What do you think they're doing?"

"Not sure. Maybe planning how to help save the Earth, that would be nice. Or maybe an invasion." Jake says. 

"Why would anyone want to invade this rock when humanity has basically destroyed it beyond repair?" Yaz plays devils advocate.

"Alright- why are you such a negative Nancy tonight?" Jake asks, shuffling so that they’re facing Yaz rather than the sky. "There are some good humans Yaz."

"No one is completely unproblematic Jake."

"Well obviously some people made some fucking horrible decisions in the past but those who actively grow and change for the better must be worth saving or helping. Why are you smiling like that?"

"It's weird hearing you swear." Yaz smiles down at them, not caring how many double chins she has. 

"I've sworn in front of you before." Jake says.

"Only a few times. You usually say 'oh jeez' or 'what a bum hole'."

"And?" Jake shrugs trying to look for the problem. “I don’t want to get written up for swearing in front of paying swimmers, I might get in trouble.”

"I dunno it just adds another layer to you Jakey." Yaz grins, unable to stop herself. 

“You have dimples when you smile.” Jake gently pokes Yaz’s cheek with their finger. “I’ve never noticed before.” 

“Really?” Yaz’s heart skips a very long beat as Jake looks up at her from her lap with such adoration. 

“Yeah.” 

Jake’s hand absently strokes over Yaz’s cheek and Yaz notices how their demeanor changes. It’s like they’re analysing Yaz as if she’s a fallen star or an unknown bit of space debris that’s fallen directly into her grasp. Yaz, although she’s using all the power of the parts of her brain that havn’t shut down with gay panic to convince herself this is platonic, if fearing for her life that her cheeks don’t feel as hot as she thinks they do. 

"I should get home. It's late." Jake swiftly lifts themself up from laying their head in Yaz’s lap with whatever their thoughts were before coming to an abrupt halt.

"Night Jakey." Yaz snaps herself out of her own imaginary moment as well. There’s no way whatever Yaz just felt was completely mutual.

Yaz is prepared not to see them until they're on shift together on Monday but the universe decides halfway through her Saturday morning shift that she’ll be graced with Jake’s presence anyway. They're a very wet, breathy Jake but it’s Jake nonetheless.

“Training?” Yaz asks. 

“Gotta keep fit somehow.” Jake smiles brightly at her. Yaz begs her heart to keep a regular beat. “How long have you been on?”

“Few hours.” Yaz says bringing her eyes back to the water. “Only a couple more left and I should be home for lunch.”

“Aw- you know what I really fancy? One of those yum yums from the cafe.” Jake groans like they can taste it just by thinking about it. 

“What’s a yum yum?” Yaz laughs at the stupidity of the name. 

“Basically just a fancy doughnut but it has way more ic- Yaz that guy’s drowning.” 

Yaz’s eyes sweep over to where Jake is pointing and sure enough there’s a guy, probably mid to late twenties, thrashing around in the water. Out of pure instinct Yaz takes the life ring from the wall and throws it towards the victim in the water, since he’s managing to keep his head out of the water just fine, but he ignores the help. He could be having a cramp of some sort, or at least that’s all Yaz can think to diagnose his behaviour.

“Grab onto the ring!” Jake shouts.

“Help!” He shouts back. The scenario is drawing quite an audience now. 

“For flip…”

“I’ll go.” Yaz offers, crossing her arms across her front already ready to take her shirt off and go for a dip. She’s the one on duty here after all. 

“No, it’s fine, I’m already wet.” Jake insists. “Why is it always the big lads that need saving?” They grumble as they jump in. 

There’s something off about this rescue that isn’t sitting right with Yaz. When you’re downing properly you can barely keep your hand up to signify for help but this guy has enough energy to thrash around and shout every two seconds. Yaz watches as Jake once again performs a flawless rescue and Yaz steps back and lets them do their thing until she realises the red liquid dripping from their nose. 

“Jake your nose.” Yaz says edging towards them to take over. All the patients flailing must have hit them in the face. 

“I’m fine.” Jake insists, dragging the heavy lad out of the pool to lay him on his back. 

Observing the fiasco from above at the top of the water slide Yaz catches Bill’s eye and sends the signal for her to radio and get Rory down as soon as possible. Yaz feels in her gut that this isn’t going to end well. 

“You owe me twenty quid mate.” His mate still in the pool bursts into laughter. 

At the same time the guy Jake has just rescued laughs underneath them, making Jake jump up as they wipe their bloody nose on their forearm. 

“You weren’t really drowning.” Jake realises. 

“No love.” He gets up. He’s fine. Jake’s come out more hurt than him. “I bet him I could get the fit one to rescue me.”

“You were so close as well mate, she was ready to go in.” His mate splashes water at him once he’s made it very clear that Yaz is the one they’re referring to. “Are you even a lifeguard?”

Yaz feels Jake slouch beside her then. Almost like they’re deflating. It’s a lot of energy rescuing anyone but a bulky man like that who’s thrashing and making a scene can drain you, especially only just after you’ve been swimming lengths, training, and now they’re insinuating that they’re not even a proper lifeguard since they’re no in the uniform. The two men have used them for their own entertainment and it makes Yaz’s blood boil. 

“It’s a two month ban for faking a drowning.” Yaz says, her voice cold and not in the mood to be played with. 

“What?” The two fellas double take at her. 

“It’s a waste of lifeguard resources.”

The two friends share a look of concern between each other while Jake and Yaz stand there waiting to see what kind of stupid excuse they’re trying to telepathically come up with. 

“Look, we’re sorry we were just-”

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave and have my boss take your details. You won’t be coming back until September.” Yaz says spotting Rory walking up out of the corner of her eye and knowing he will back her up. 

“But it’s the middle of summer.” The fake drowner says, suddenly realising that this isn’t as funny of an ending as they thought it would be. 

“I guess you should have thought of that then.” Yaz shrugs, folding her arms across her chest and pressing her lips together into an unimpressed line. 

“What’s going on. Jake are you okay?” Rory gently tries to move Jake’s hand away from their nose. 

“I was just helping out after a swim.” Jake says. “Then these idiots decided to fake drown.” 

“It was just a joke.” They try to defend their joint actions again. 

“You two with me please, Jake, I’ll need a statement from you before you leave. You too Yaz.” Rory orders. Yaz trusts him to look after it. He can be as robust as a Roman when it comes to incidents like this. 

Jake disappears before Yaz can talk to them again. Yaz herself finishes her shift and decides to write up her detailed report over a loaded jacket potato from the cafe. Since Jake mentioned it the food has been at the back of her mind for the last couple of hours and she would be a fool not to eat lunch here instead of going home and eating some cheese and pickle on stale bread. She even inquires about the yum yums that are absent from the glass display but it turns out they ran out at about ten this morning. Jake wouldn’t have even had the chance to grab one on the way out, which kind of upsets Yaz. She knows they would’ve bought one if they could. 

Once her paperwork is done she lets herself into Rory’s office which is empty since he’s poolside and leaves the slip of paper on his desk. She notices his computer still on and open and she gets an idea that’s probably illegal. Before her rational brain can stop her, Yaz is looking at the staff database, specifically for Jake’s details and writes down Jake’s address on the back of her hand with a pen since her phone is still stuck in her locker. Once she has the information she wants she doesn’t pry any further- already afraid she’s broken so many HR laws- and goes to retrieve her backpack. 

However stepping back out into the reception area Yaz sees the glass cabinet at the cafe get refilled with an array of pastries. Her body is walking over to join the line to be served before she knows it with the intention of asking if they have any more yippie dippies or whatever they’re called. 

“Back for more?” The young waitress asks as Yaz approaches the front of the queue. 

“Can I get one of those yak yak things?” Yaz asks and points, knowing she’s got the name wrong but going with it anyway since Jake isn’t here to correct her this time.

“Do you mean a yum yum?” She smiles at her.

“Yeah, one of those please.” Yaz smiles at her mistake. “Actually make it two.” 

“You’re one of the lifeguards here aren’t you?” The server asks although it sounds like she already knows Yaz’s answer. 

“Yeah, I am.” Yaz says with pride.  _ Yaz Khan, the protector of life. _

“You single?” She kinks an eyebrow as she somehow manages to maintain eye contact while scoping up the final pastry into a paper bag. “If I gave you my number would you snitch to my boss?”

“Oooh, uh I…” Yaz stumbles, feeling awkward. This kid must be what, sixteen or seventeen working this job for a bit of pocket money? “You know what, come back to me in a few years when you’re not, you know, a teen.” 

“Fair enough.” She shrugs off the rightful rejection. 

“I admire the boldness though.” Yaz nods, impressed that she had the guts to ask. She pays for the sweet treats, takes the paper bag and heads out of the leisure center in search of the address scribbled on her hand that should lead her to Jake. Hopefully this surprise will cheer them up. 

“I got you something!” Yaz smiles, holding the paper bag up to her cheek when Jake answers the door to the flat. They look spooked at first, but realising it’s just Yaz after a moment of staring and probably wondering how Yaz found where they live, they open the door wider.

“Come in.” Jake smiles softly. 

“I thought you’d need cheering up.” Yaz says. 

Jake leads her into their living room where Yaz spots the massive fish tank she’s been told so much about recently. It really is impressive.

“Is your nose okay?” Yaz asks, noting how Jake silently sits on their sofa without saying so much as a word. 

“I’m not upset about my nose.” Jake mumbles. 

“Are you upset about what they said because I would be.” Yaz suggests while picking at the corner of the paper bag. She feels like she knows Jake well enough now to be able to predict how they’re feeling. 

“I am a bit, yeah.” Jake nods.

Putting her friend brain on rather than her ‘I-have-a-big-fat-crush-on-you’ brain Yaz hands Jake the paper bag (which is slowly getting grease marks) and sits down next to them, curling her legs underneath her. 

“I haven’t been made fun of to my face for years.” Jake huffs through a smile that screams disbelief. 

“What they did was shit Jake, I’m sorry.” Yaz says. She’s not sure what else to say other than to reassure them that the two blokes will hopefully learn their lesson. 

“Don’t apologise for being the better looking one.” Jake lets out a little laugh but Yaz frowns and edges closer to Jake. 

“I’m not, I just… you are attractive. Very good looking just not to those guys.” 

“Who then?” Jake shrugs with their self esteem lower than Yaz ever believed it could fall. How could two people manage to do this to someone so bright and bubbly most of the time. 

“Me.” Yaz answers their question a little too fast. At least Jake can’t accuse her of lying but she would be lying to herself if she said her speed in answering hasn’t made her blood rush to her cheeks. “And Bill. And, I’m- I’m pretty sure everyone else who works here too.” 

“You’re lying to boost my confidence.”

“I’m not.” Yaz insists. Maybe she was lying about Bill and everyone else but she certainly finds Jake attractive. She finds them a lot of things. “You’re very attractive Jakey. In your work clothes and your regular fit.” Yaz repeats. 

“I don’t want guys like that looking at me anyway.” Jake says, their tone changing over the rustle of the paper bag being uncurled. They must finally believe Yaz. 

“There you go then, problem solved.” 

“There’s two in here.” Jake holds the open bag in Yaz’s direction. 

“Both for you.” Yaz says. After seeing the amount of grease that’s come out of it Yaz is more than a little put off. 

“You got two for me?” Jake asks with surprise. 

“You said you were craving them so...” Yaz shrugs. 

“How much do I-”

“Nothing.” Yaz places her hand on top of Jakes which is frantically trying to reach into their pocket to retrieve some loose change. “Also don’t pretend you don’t know how much one of these costs if you love them so much.” 

“You’re right.” Jake laughs at themself. “Can I hug you again?” 

“Course you can Jakey.” Yaz says with already open arms. Jake falls into them and hugs her back just as tight. “You smell good.” Yaz notes. 

“What, like, less like chlorine and piss water from the kids pool?” Jake asks. Yaz likes the way their chin feels against her shoulder as it moves with their words. 

“Yeah, kind of more like-” Yaz takes a deep and self indulgent sniff. Jake smells of youthful summers and the warm air of a colourful and dusty evening and petrichor and- “Apples.”

“Ah.” Jake pulls out of their hug. “That would be the apple shampoo.”

“Of course it would.” Yaz chuckles. 

“Wanna stay and hang out for a while?” Jake asks. Yaz would be a fool to say no. 

* * *

Monday Jake comes in like the incident on Monday never happened. Tuesday the two of them goof around making gestures and playing games with each other with Yaz at the top of the water slide and Jake guarding the pool underneath it. Wednesday Yaz is stuck on the little island in the middle of the outside pool so she doesn’t get to see Jake but she keeps herself busy enough not to notice. Thursday Bill and Jake have to deal with a code Brown which is  _ exactly _ what it sounds like and Yaz is thankful to only have to watch from far away. Seeing Bill and Jake work together and even joke together at the same time makes Yaz unbelievably happy. The longer Jake works here the better they’re getting on with making friends. 

Friday the weather takes a turn and for the first time since they’ve been doing it Yaz and Jake can’t eat their chips sitting on their bench unless they want to get drenched. Instead they still get them as a treat for their hard work and eat them on Jake’s sofa with the TV on in the background as they chat as normal. Yaz makes Jake name all their fish again so that Yaz can put a face to the names (although she has already looked up all the different species after Jake tells her about them) and the conversation moves on to which is scarier; the oceans or outer space. They both agree with the oceans thanks to humanities lack of knowledge about it.

When they finish eating Yaz doesn’t know what the polite thing to do is. Usually they’ll go their separate ways but this time Yaz is a guest in Jakes home and leaving so abruptly would be very rude- at least Yaz considers it to be.

“You can stay, you know.” Jake says like they can read her mind. “I know you’re trying to figure out whether to leave or not, I can see it on your face.”

“You’re very observant Jake.” Yaz compliments. 

“Thank you. It’s what makes me a good lifeguard.” Jake jokes. 

“No- honestly Jake you say that as a joke but you spotted that guy drowning at the weekend before me, it were amazing. Even if he was only faking it.” Yaz makes an effort to insist.

“Thanks.” Jake blushes. They’re incredibly cute when they blush and Yaz will punish herself for having that thought when she gets home and her head is still full of Jake as she tries to fall asleep. 

“You’re amazing with everything. Looking after kids, saving people’s lives, sorting out knees that get bashed on the side of the-”

“Stop saying nice things about me.” Jake mutters, cheeks now a deep cherry red. 

“Why? I think you deserve nice things to be said about you.” Yaz grins. 

“Because it makes me… you just… it makes me want to…”

“Makes you want to... what, Jake?” Yaz asks, intrigued at the mystery that is making them stumble over everything, stopping them from saying what they want to say. 

“I just…”

“What?” Yaz asks again softly. 

Jake lets out a shaky exhale, then their lips are on Yaz’s so swiftly Yaz doesn’t have a chance to bring her hands to Jake’s face before they pull away again. So shocked she sits there with her heartbeat in her ears staring into those hazel-green eyes with blown pupils waiting for something smart to come out of her mouth. The touch was barely anything and Yaz wouldn’t be able to tell if she was imagining it or not if Jake didn’t look so scared staring back at her.

“I shouldn’t- I didn’t mean- I didn’t ask- I shouldn’t- I need to go.” Jake leaps up to get away from Yaz. 

“Jake.” Yaz calls after them.

“I need to leave.” 

“Jake you live here.” Yaz reminds them. 

“Right. Yes, right, this is my place. I live here, um…” Jake stops dead and runs their hands through their hair like they’re having a crisis. “I’ve never even… that was my first and I didn’t…” 

“I can leave?” Yaz offers. She doesn’t want to leave but she at least has the decency to offer something that will make Jake comfortable. “Do you want me to leave Jake?” Yaz asks as she approaches. 

“I don’t… I don’t know.” Finally. A full sentence Yaz can work with. “I’ve made this awkward now… god.” 

“Look Jake, we can forget it ever happened, alright?” Yaz suggests, prying Jakes fingers away from their cheeks. She doesn’t want to forget. She doesn’t want to forget that split second for a second where Jake was trying to kiss her. “We can still go to work as friends and we can still meet every Friday after work and we can pretend you never kissed me if you like.” 

“I should probably just never speak to you again.” Jake laughs nervously. Yaz’s heart sinks at the possibility of their entire dynamic together changing. 

“What if I don’t want that?” Yaz blurts out. “I like hanging around you Jake.” She purposely avoids using the word ‘friend’. 

Yaz can only stand and watch as Jake’s mind travels a million miles a second trying to figure out how they want to respond. Internally she’s begging them to be okay with forgetting, to not let this get in the way and maybe one day Jake will decide to kiss her properly a month or so in the future. 

“You promise me being an idiot won’t change anything?” 

“No.” Yaz lies. If anything it’ll just make Yaz’s dreams far more vivid and painful but it’s convincing enough to make Jake smile a little bit. 

“I’ll see you on Monday?” Jake asks, hopeful to move along as normal. 

“Bright and early.” Yaz says turning towards the flat door. “And you’re not an idiot.” 

“Debatable.” Jake shrugs.

The second Yaz closes the door behind her she feels like she’s drowning but her heart thudding in her chest is like a pool floatie refusing to let her get submerged.  _ Jake kissed me _ , she tells herself until she believes it.  _ Jake likes me and they kissed me.  _ She replays the moment the softness of Jake’s lips pressed against hers a hundred thousand times all the way home and smiles stupidly to herself until her head hits her pillow and she realises. 

_ I told Jake I’d forget it ever happened. _

* * *

Monday morning Yaz can’t find Jake in the staff changing rooms and she doesn’t see them as she makes her way over to Bill who is staring at the master board temperature gauges on the wall near the showers. She still doesn’t know what happened but Yaz will try her damned best not to have that conversation at work. Not only are they in public but also Jake works here. They shouldn’t feel like they’re being talked about.

“Do you know how to get the sprinklers going?” Bill asks, her face screwed up like she’s trying to solve a difficult maths equation and not just find a certain switch.

“This one.” Yaz flips the three switches for her.

“Thanks. We’ve got a school trip coming today, thought it would be nice.” Bill smiles. 

“I know, I read the email.” Yaz nods.

“Why so glum, chum?” Bill asks, locking up the box on the wall so none of the public can intervene and meddle with it when they finally arrive.

“Have you seen Jake?” Yaz asks, now concerned at their tardiness. 

“I think they’re running a bit late.” 

As if summoned by the use of their name Jake comes rushing in a little too fast than they probably should. 

“No running!” Bill shouts to remind them, even though the floor is not yet wet.

“Morning Jakey.” Yaz says, continuing their streak of normal and giving them a frankly nicer morning greeting. 

“Hi Yasm- I mean Yaz.” Jake fumbles over what name to use. They’re nervous beyond belief and Yaz can tell by the way they don’t stop to chat. Jake always asks how Yaz’s weekend was whether they’re running late or not. 

“What’s got into their binder this morning?” Bill mutters. Yaz quietly fiddles with her own set of keys as a distraction. “Yaz?” Bill catches on to the strange behaviour straight away and disapprovingly holds her hands to her hips. 

“Jake kissed me.” Yaz confides in her friend with a whisper. She was going to find out one way or another.

Bill freezes in shock so Yaz takes the opportunity to go walk over to her plastic chair 

“I’m sorry, you’re only just telling me this now?” Yaz can hear the  _ flip-flop-flip-flop  _ of Bill chasing after her. “When?” 

“It’s not a big deal.” Yaz mumbles attaching her keys to the arm of the chair. 

“Excuse me? Miss ‘I’ve had a crush on the new lifeguard ever since they arrived’? Are you kidding?” Bill's voice gets considerably louder- loud enough for Yaz to worry about Jake hearing. 

“Okay!” Yaz hisses to try and keep her voice down. “I told Jake I would forget about it because they regret it and they’re confused and it was more sort of just a quick peck on the lips, honest.” 

“And you’re okay with that?” Bill asks with a genuine concern for her feelings.

“Not really.” Yaz admits. She wants more, more of Jake, more of everything they have to give her. “But it’s better than not having them around me at all.” She explains. 

“Yaz, if you like them and you know they like you, why are you both running away from it rather than accepting that it happened?” Bill asks. She has a point. 

“I don’t think Jake is ready.” 

“But you’re willing to wait until they are? Yaz that could take ages. It might never-” 

“Yaz.” Jake’s voice echoes, grabbing both their attention. “Can I have a word?”

Like a dog on a lead Yaz completely abandons Bill and her question that’s staying in the air like a bad smell and joins Jake over at the spectator seats. Jake doesn’t stop at the first row and instead climbs up a few stairs and sits down a fair few rows back, probably so that Bill can't lip read, and without thinking Yaz sits in the seat directly next to them. For a moment she fears she’s too close but that moment passes when Jake smiles timidly at her. 

“I realised it’s a bit difficult to just forget.” Jake says. “So… I uh…” 

“Take your time Jakey.” Yaz gently pats their shoulder in a friendly manner.

“I kissed you and I don’t know why I did it but it happened and I’d appreciate it that if for now we could just stay friends.” Jake says. 

“It’s alright Jake, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“To me it is.” Jake whines like a puppy. “You’re still, like, my only proper friend here. I don’t want to mess it up.”

“You haven’t messed anything up Jake. I promise.” Yaz smiles at their concern. Jake wants a friend, and a friend Yaz will be no matter how hard it is on her own emotional wellbeing. She has a sneaking suspicion that Jake still doesn’t realise Yaz feels the same. That she would have kissed them back if she had the time. 

“I should probably have learnt how to kiss properly first anyway.” Jake thinks out loud and it makes Yaz laugh. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, I should speak to my friends about it. Not you, obviously, that would be weird now. Maybe Bill.” 

“Mate you do not want tips from Bill she’ll give you information that’ll scar you for life.” 

“No I won’t!” Bill shouts with her hands cupped around her lips to make sure they both hear. “Come to me any time Jake, I’m very knowledgeable.”

“She still scares me.” Jake whispers. 

Yaz openly giggles at Jake’s playful fear and for a moment, just a blessed moment Yaz thinks she’ll be okay with staying as Jake’s friend. She likes them. Jake likes her and although Yaz would prefer to be dating Jake or at least be able to kiss them again she’s okay settling for this. She’s okay.

Or at least she thinks she’s okay until her mum finds her outside bent over the balcony looking out to the horizon. Yaz tells herself she’s just chilling outside to get the smell of chlorine out of her nose but in reality she’s thinking about a lot of things; what to do with Jake being the main issue. Najia can see it on her face a mile away. 

“What’s going on Yaz?” Her mother asks, leaning on the railing with her. 

“Just got a lot going on.” Yaz picks at her thumbs. 

“Wanna talk about it?” Najia scoots closer to rest her palm on Yaz’s back. 

“Mum.” Yaz starts but has to pause to properly gather her thoughts. “If you really like someone and you think they like you too but you’ve agreed just to be friends because it’s better and it’s what you know, but you can’t stop daydreaming about being with them, what should you do?”

Taken back by Yaz’s open book vulnerability Najia stands in shock trying to absorb everything she’s just been told. Yaz never really talks about her crushes or even hints to people she finds attractive so that’s enough to swallow anyway but on top of that she’s asking for advice. The longer the silence goes on and on the stronger the image of Jake becomes in her mind. 

“Is it Bill?” Najia asks. 

Yaz shakes her head. “Jake.”

“Oh.” Najia says. “I did wonder why you keep coming home late on a Friday.”

“What do I do mum?” Yaz asks. Begs for some motherly advice she can actually do something with right now.

“Whatever makes you happy sweetheart.” Najia sighs and smiles.

“Jake makes me happy.” Yaz says.

“I know.” Najia wraps her arm protectively around her daughter. “I can see it in your eyes every time you talk about them.” 

Yaz groans and holds her face in her hands. Why can’t she just buck it up and ask Jake out? She wants to try, she wants to see where things with Jake can go if the two of them weren’t so afraid of failure. Relationships in the workplace are never a good idea anyway but their work really relies on teamwork. Like, seriously  _ seriously  _ relies on good communication between the team and if they’re either too loved up or in a bad mood with each other something horrifically bad could happen. 

But she wants them. She wants them so bad after just a small taste and a whole load of fantasizing which is now more than ever feels like she’s an arms length away from reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to volunteer to give Jake a hug


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: discussion of a sexual nature but it's only discussion, nothing explicitly described

Yaz almost kisses Jake a few times. Almost being the key word. When they get chips that Friday, when they're overlooking the big pool together. Especially when Jake is showing her their design for their next tattoo, planned to accompany their fish already on their rib. Yaz has to take a moment in the fresh air after that to gather herself.  Bill is no help either. Yaz could class it as making attempts to be a matchmaker but all it does is make things awkward. Exhibit A: Bill purposefully splashing water over Yaz's shirt forcing her to take it off in front of poor Jake who looks like a startled rabbit in the middle of the road not knowing where to turn. Yaz calls Bill evil for doing that. Truly evil.

Then on top of all that there's the time Jake and Yaz were noodle fighting during an extraordinarily quiet shift along the side of the pool. Jake didn't mean to throw her into the water but it happened and Bill who was observing ruled the match point to Jake. Yaz pulls herself out with no trouble although shocked that they managed to push her in. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you wet." Jake says, apologising for taking the game too far.

"It's ok-"

"Not the first time if you catch my drift Jake." Bill winks. 

Yaz frowns trying to figure out what her friend means and panics as the realisation hits and she’s left with Jake as Bill saunters away. "She doesn't… I mean-"

"It's okay Yaz." Jake blushes bright pink, already embarrassed at drenching Yaz, clearly just wanting this conversation to move along. Yaz however is so flustered she starts to spew out word vomit.

"Like I don't think of you when I… I don't! I promise, I don't think of anyone in particular- well maybe a pornstar or something. Not that I watch that stuff! I don't… usually, maybe sometimes when I'm too lazy to imagine- not you, I don't imagine you! I don't watch po-"

"Yaz." Jake says her name calmly and with a small smile. "You're just digging yourself a hole here." They imitate using a shovel and throwing first over their shoulder while smiling politely. Yaz wants to shrivel up and die where she stands. 

Yaz turns while she still knows her limbs work and heads to the changing rooms. It’s the end of her and Bill’s shift anyway and she’ll see Jakey again tomorrow afternoon. 

"You've got to stop saying stuff like that to them." Yaz says the second she lays eyes on Bill. 

"Did I lie though?" Bill asks.

"Bill you can't just joke like that!" Yaz whines. 

"Alright, look I'm sorry, I'm sorry. That's just how I am, cheeky Bill, right? But I can be serious too and I'm serious now when I tell you that this can't keep going on." Bill says 

“What exactly can’t keep going on?” Yaz asks, already deciding to focus more on getting changed than listening to her. 

“You like them, they like you. Stop fooling yourselves.” Bill’s locker door slams shut. 

“It’s a bit more difficult than that.” Yaz mumbles. 

“How?” Bill laughs. “Yaz. Dude. C’mon. You’re making it more-” 

“Goodbye Bill.” Yaz slams her own locker shut having gathered all of her personal belongings and heads out, a little bit pissed off at Bill’s tough love stance. 

“Just think about it for me? Yaz-”

Friday makes Yaz unbelievably hot under the collar. It’s the hottest day of the year and everyone seems to be flocking to the leisure center to cool off but the increased mass of bodies means the heat and the chlorine and the noise is making it a struggle for the lifeguards to keep their own cool. Yaz still feels a shallow level of awkwardness when she passes Jake, knowing that Jake will be reminded of their last conversation each time but they keep professional and help each other out when they need to. Pool capacity is at maximum which increases the level of danger. Arms and legs hitting and kicking people, arguments about who’s pool toys are whose, people getting tetchy about the queue for the water slide. By the end of the day the smell of humid chlorine is making her head swell and she can feel herself getting mild symptoms of a headache, to the point where both her and Jake don’t say anything until they reach the bench on top of the hill with their chips.

“Shifts like that make me reevaluate my life choices.” Jake sighs heavily. 

“Me too.” Yaz says. “But that’s what we’re there for I guess.” 

The air is still warm and humid to probably everyone else who hasn’t spent the entire afternoon is finding it unbearable but Yaz and Jake sit comfortably in the quiet of the setting sun watching the city below them sluggishly try to keep moving. Yaz doesn’t even really notice that they’re not talking to each other until she feels the need to announce through her tiredness that she needs to get home. 

"I'm gonna go." Yaz says.

"And masturbate about me?" Jake asks, jokingly, but it still makes Yaz cringe with embarrassment.

"Jake!"

"I know! You don't do that." Jake grins. "Stay a bit. Please?"

"What do you want to talk about?" Yaz asks, sitting herself back down again.

"Why should I have to want to talk? Is it not enough that I just want to sit with you?" Jake asks.

"You can't go a minute without talking." 

"Unless I'm listening to you." Jake says. Their demeanor, although tired, is vulnerable, which gives Yaz a heads up about the nature of what Jake is going to say next. "Listen Yaz I um… I didn't really want to ask this but something has happened and…"

Jake tails off, lightly bouncing their leg which then rightfully sets Yaz on edge. 

"Jakey I get anxiety, you can't just stop there." She says. 

"Could I stay with you tonight? Just for one night." Jake asks. It’s not what Yaz was expecting.

"I mean sure, you'll have to meet my parents and my sister but sure. Why though, what's wrong with your place?" Yaz asks, trying to find a reason.

"One of my neighbours sent a letter pre warning that they're having a party tonight. I can never sleep when they do that and I'm on early tomorrow." Joey explains. “I know it sounds stupid but after today-”

“It’s not stupid.” Yaz stops them from creating an unneeded elaboration. Jake timidly lets their body language signal relief and Yaz knows she’s done the right thing by agreeing to help. “Ready to go?” 

Jake helps keep a relaxed paced, quiet conversation all the way back to the flat. Yaz hopes that her parents will do that middle aged thing where they’re in bed by half nine and only Sonya is up and too glued to the TV to notice Yaz is bringing someone home and thankfully her premonitions are right. Sonya barely looks up when Yaz says she’s home, and Najia and Hakim are nowhere to be seen. Yaz shows Jake where the bathroom is and then her room before going to retrieve a camping air mattress. Yaz considered offering to share her bed, but she’s done that before with Bill and she almost always ends up with a foot in her face so this is a much better idea and Jake doesn’t seem to object.

“Do we need an air pump or something? I don’t want you to do it by hand. I mean mouth.” Jake asks, not wanting Yaz to put her back out for them. 

“Nah these are like… fancy ones, you just twist this-” Yaz twists the valve to let air get sucked in with a low hiss. “-give it twenty minutes and it’ll fill itself up, just make sure to twist the valve shut again.” 

“Okay.” Jake nods their head showing they understand the instruction. 

“I’m just gonna go shower, help yourself to whatever.” Yaz yawns halfway through her sentence allowing Jake to guess that nothing else needs to be said. 

Yaz’s shower is welcomed. Cold and fresh and enough to help her have just the right amount of energy to get changed into pyjamas and make it back to her room. Jake however, is already passed out laying on the mattress on the floor with not so much as a jumper to cover their body. Yaz finds a light blanket that isn’t going to force Jake to sweat out all the water in their body. Since it’s still such a hot summer night Yaz fetches the two of them two glasses of water then doesn’t fuss around with anything else- slipping into bed not daring to linger on how soft Jake looks as they sleep. 

She wakes in the dark of the middle of the night not due to the heat or Jake’s light snoring but from feeling a tickle in the palm of her hand. However she has moved in her sleep Yaz has ended up laying on her stomach with her arm dangling over the side of her bed; the tickling feeling being Jake’s fingers lightly pressed against her palm. They’re not necessarily holding hands but it’s a level of contact that makes Yaz hold her breath. Jake is showing all the signs of sleep still; even breathing, eyes shut but not too tightly. It’s something Yaz feels like she shouldn’t be allowed to witness- so tender, so private and Jake will never know that in their sleep they reached for Yaz. Or did Yaz reach for Jake? Did they end up doing this together- gravitating to one another in their sleep?

Yaz readjusts how she’s lying to loosely curl their fingers together with Bill’s words ringing through her skull.  _ You like them, they like you. _ In their sleep Jake shifts shortly and abruptly making Yaz instinctively want to whip her hand away but the way Jake’s fingers stay put, perhaps even firmer than before, stops her from doing so. Jake’s holding her hand. There’s no doubt about it now. It’s strange how they’ve sort of kissed before and yet this is what’s making Yaz feel astonishingly appreciated and valued as more than just a friend. Yeah, it may just be an unintentional, unmotivated, unconscious coincidence but to Yaz it means more.  _ Stop fooling yourselves.  _ It means a lot.

Yaz falls back to sleep again with her hand intertwined loosely with Jake. When she wakes though, Jake is gone, probably already heading to work while Yaz has the day off. Her arm still dangles over the side of her bed and she has to wonder if Jake had to untangle themself from her in order to leave. She also considers whether Jake would have had to come into contact with her dad or god forbid her mother on their way out and been subject to a whole line of questioning about their being here. However, when Yaz sees her family they make no indication to knowing there was an extra soul in their home last night. 

Her day off is brutally cut short when it’s reported that there’s a shortage of lifeguards at the pool and once again they’re at capacity with visitors. Summer holidays are both a blessing and a curse, keeping Yaz so busy. She doesn’t really see Jake, nor Bill, but wrangles with the part time staff made up of mostly teenagers. Not that they’re necessarily bad at their job but more the fact that they get easily distracted with each other with banter taking place over safety. It’s just a job on the weekends and over the school holidays for them. Yaz is there to remind them it’s a bit deeper than that.

It’s like that non stop for the next week. Barely seeing her friends while she works and too tired to do anything for herself when she’s off the clock. She gets a well deserved, chlorine free day off at the same time as Jake and finds them at her front door that morning.

“Wanna come on an adventure?” Jake asks with a beaming smile.

“It’s nine in the morning.” Yaz says, just to make sure they know that this is considered incredibly early for the first day off in weeks. 

“Exactly. Get a shift on, no time to lose.” 

After grabbing a backpack and filling it with a bit of food and a towel as instructed by Jake the two of them get on a bus and head to the outskirts of town. Yaz is kept in the dark about where exactly they’re going, trusting Jake to tell her when to get off the bus when she needs to which turns out to be the very last stop on the route. She asks where they’re going next but Jake says to trust them and so Yaz does. They take her through back passages behind houses, through a park and then fields that are crisp with dry grass. When truly far away from civilization, walking side by side, Jake silently takes Yaz’s hand. It comes as a surprise to Yaz but she doesn’t act like it. She stays cool and calm and instead of making a big deal about it she lets their connected hands swing lightly between them. 

Open fields turn to paths shaded by trees. It smells so fresh and quiet and free of chemicals it forces Yaz to recognise how trapped she’s been in her work, that nature and the rest of the world still exist. Jake must have assumed she needed this. That they both need this escape, just for the day. They cross a stream together and weave through some more trees until suddenly they’re standing in a natural opening. Wild flowers surround the massive lake in front of Yaz which reflects the sun reaching its peak in the sky. 

“Whoa.” Yaz whispers in awe of what she sees.

“Knew you’d like it.” 

Jake disconnects their hands which Yaz has truthfully forgotten were together since it was so comfortable to slip their backpack off. They pull out a blanket and lay it out on a flat patch of dry earth that’s still within the reach of some shade.

“So what do we do here?” Yaz asks. 

“We just chill out. Have a nap, eat some food, chat, maybe have a swim.” 

“I’m not swimming in that.” Yaz protests. It’s a beautiful lake but it’s  _ a lake _ ; not treated, not clean, full of bacteria and animals and plants that are going to brush up against her leg. 

“Fine. Good.” Jake shrugs unbothered.

“Good?” 

“Means you can save me if I need it.” 

Jake tugs their shirt over their head, flings it to the ground and works on the button on their shorts. Yaz happily settles down by kicking off her trainers and sitting on the blanket. It’s been a long walk, she realises now she’s resting, and the fresh air feels like it’s treating her skin and bones already.

“Geronimo!” Jake shouts as they run and jump into the lake, creating a considerable splash. Yaz sits forward waiting for Jake to break the surface again. “Shit a brick that’s cold! Whoo!” Their voice echoes and bounces off of the trees around them.

“Be careful Jake!” Yaz shouts at them with safety on her mind. Jake pays no mind though and starts to swim and splash around.

Jake plays by themself in the lake while Yaz lets herself relax under the shade of an old oak tree, laying on her back, resting her eyes, letting the heat from sun put her under a spell of tranquility. In the back of her mind she keeps an ear out for the sounds of Jake disturbing the water, just as an instinct, needing to make sure that they’re safe. Eventually the water goes quiet and footsteps approach her. Together they eat the food they’ve brought with them. Yaz gets caught staring at Jake’s stomach and only just manages to pass it off as checking out their tattoo on their side. It’s a rubbish lie but they both pass over the fact it’s a rubbish lie and keep talking about other rubbish things that don’t really mean anything, they’re just nice to hear because they’re talking about it together. But Jake doesn’t talk her ear off. They know exactly when to let silence comfortably wash over them.

As the sun moves across the sky it doesn’t seem that time is passing at all. Jake floats on the water, staring up at the sky while Yaz does the same. They aren’t disturbed once. No ramblers, no walking groups, no teenagers, no lovers looking for a hideaway, just the two of them being able to relax. There isn’t even a phone signal for anyone to bother them however Yaz still uses up the battery taking slow motion and reversed videos of Jake jumping into the lake making different faces and poses. They never fail to make Yaz laugh, not once.

When the great ball of fire in the sky reaches eye level Jake suggests they should start to make a move if they want to get back home for dinner time. Yaz is reluctant to move since she’s enjoying her day off with Jake far too much and manages to convince them to stay until the golden hour by sitting at the edge of the water and dipping her feet in. 

“Listen to that.” Jake mutters. 

Yaz shallows her breathing to be able to hear what Jake is pointing out. Bird song. Beautiful chirping birdsong that fills the entire opening and beyond.

“It’s lovely.” Yaz smiles. 

“You’re lovely.” Jake says. 

With another emotional realisation blossoming in her chest, the overgrown vines of her crush on Jake winding and twisting around each of her ribs until it’s hard for her to breath in a regulated manner, the pair of lifeguards end up staring at each other. Rays from the sun bounce off of Jake’s skin, highlighting every line and dip and contour. Their eyes shine at Yaz as they stare back; glinting as the sound of the birds faded out and they dip down to cautiously look at Yaz’s lips. It’s a small action and the level of Jake’s eyes rectifies itself quickly but that doesn’t mean that Yaz misses it. The vine in her chest reaches up around her heart, itching it. Pricking her with thorns. 

“Oi!”

“Shit.” Jake leaps up grabbing their boots, Yaz following suit with her own footwear, the moment having been thoroughly shattered.

“Bloody trespassers!” The booming voice continues. 

“Run!”

Jake takes Yaz’s hand and drags her along as they run, Yaz only just being able to catch up and get into a comfortable bare-foot stride beside them. They run until they’re both blue in the face, laughing all the way.

When the two of them finally get onto the rickety bus and trundle along back into town the sky is purple. It doesn’t take long for Jake’s head to flop onto Yaz’s shoulder. Thanks to Yaz’s lightning quick reactions she gets her arm over Jake's shoulders before she can get squished. Indulging in herself Yaz slips her hand up the back of Jake’s head and into their hair, stroking the short hair of their undercut while still admiring how the rest of hair dries so wavy. With the excitement of the day and their impromptu run catching up with her Yaz tips her own head back a little letting her eyelids drift closed. She focuses on the feeling of Jake’s hair against her fingertips and their breath hot against her shoulder. The Jake Yaz knows, the Jake she’s been with all day, the Jake that’s sleeping lightly on her shoulder, is the Jake she wishes the rest of the staff at the pool could know. It’s special and incredibly meaningful to Yaz that this is a very exclusive version of Jake that she gets to be with- that Jake chooses to show to her- but Yaz knows that some of the more part time staff are finding it hard to get to know Jake with an open mind. 

A forced cough comes from the direction of the driver's cabin, snapping Yaz’s eyes back open. She meets the blue eyes looking back at her in the mirror.

“Sorry love. Just making sure stops don’t get missed.” He says.

“Thank you.” Yaz nods once to be polite. 

If the interaction stirs Jake they don’t let Yaz know they’ve woken up. They keep resting on Yaz’s shoulder, Yaz keeps playing with their hair with an absent mind, thinking about their day. About what might have happened if the land owner hadn’t found them.  _ You like them, they like you. Stop fooling yourselves. _

* * *

“So you were with them. All day, like, just you and Jake in a clearing?” Bill asks when Yaz reveals what she did with her day off. She managed to avoid questioning from her family but once again nothing gets past Bill Potts. 

“Yeah. It was really nice. It’s like… time doesn’t really exist when it’s just me and Jake.”

“My God.” Bill grimaces. Yaz opens her mouth to tell her not to be a dick about it- that she knows Bill is right and she’ll do something about how she feels soon but she gets cut off. “Come on, let's clear the pool for this tournament.”

Overseeing local swimming tournaments is like a treat for Yaz and Bill. All they do is sit in their seats and watch, they don’t even have to keep score, all meanwhile the rest of the pools continue with the summer holiday chaos. After several hours Bill and yaz are replaced and rotated so that they can go and grab some lunch from the cafe. On their way out they pass Jake who is coming back in, who is red in the face, arms and legs.

“I should’ve worn sun cream.” Jake grumbles as they pass. 

Yaz laughs and turns her head to look at Jake’s sunburnt state as she walks. Jake does the same smiling back at Yaz, rolling their eyes at themself. 

“You really did spend an entire day outside with them and nothing happened?” Bill asks, clearly not being able to wrap her head around this story. 

“Nothing really.” Yaz shrugs. “We just had fun- not like that.”

Bills pestering goes on for weeks, right up to the end of August trying to drain her of every detail of interaction Jake and Yaz have. Their normal Friday meet ups, whether they chill out together on a day off, Bill asks for everything under the guise of helping Yaz figure out what move to take next. Yaz gives her nothing too personal, keeping the special moments to herself. Those aren’t for sharing. Sonya seems to notice that Yaz is spending more time out of the house with Jake too and her suspicions come out in sly comments around the dinner table, trying to get Yaz to crack with embarrassment. Again, Yaz holds her own.

She’s so busy fighting off her friends and sister and spending time with Jake in all her free time the school summer holidays pass her by in a blink. Before she knows it it’s the first week of September and everything has calmed down at the pool again. Less teenagers during the day, more old people coming for aqua aerobics lessons to keep themselves fit and socialise. Less screaming, more general chatter. Back to normal. 

The first Friday of September Jake and Yaz can’t run away and get a takeaway on their own like usual. But, they are occupied with an equally as fun evening. The entire leisure center closes early so that staff can use the equipment where they work. For Yaz and the rest of the team that means going all out with the pools, getting out the assault courses, the floaties, the waterslide, turning on the fountains and playing their music of choice- which now can include expletives since there aren’t any kids around to hear. It’s basically a thank you from head office for working so hard through the school holiday season.

Everyone races each other on the assault course three times before groups split off into different pools to do whatever they want, which Yaz is grateful for. A lot of the part time staff seem to be staring at her body and Yaz wishes she chose to wear a one piece instead. Strangely- or maybe not so strangely given the circumstances, Jake always turns up when people might be close to starting to flirt with Yaz. Bill picks up on it, since the two of them stick together and race each other with a very competitive nature. They have breath holding contests, splashing contests, how fast you can go down the slide contests, cannonballing, you name- it Bill and Yaz will do it during this party. 

In the corner of the big warm pool, behind the mist of the fountains and water features Yaz spots Jake looking around at everyone else clearly getting conversationally tired. It’s understandable, they’ve worked all day and it’s loud in here. So, Yaz makes her way over, slipping away from the crowd. Jake sees Yaz coming and smiles trying to throw her off the scent, to say they're okay and there’s no need to worry but Yaz just keeps coming. 

“Come with me Jakey.” Yaz whispers in their ear. 

She takes their hand under the water so no one (Bill) sees and the two of them glide through the water out to the outside area. The water around their bodies is warm making the air around them seem colder than it is. It’s dark out now. The lights attached to the walls under the water illuminate the pool and the small riptide around the island in the middle is still active but no one else is out here. The water glows turquoise blue and the sky above their heads is on the opposite scale, a dark navy blue highlighting the twinkle of the stars and the moon. Yaz continues to guide Jake into the riptide, letting them get pushed around the circuit until the spot she has in mind comes up. She drags Jake into the carved out dip in the tiled island where the moving water can’t reach them. All that’s with them is the sound of the moving water and some teenagers in the park playing music and chatting. 

“What are we doing?” Jake asks, visibly confused as to why they’ve been brought out here.

“Everyone's always too busy having fun inside they miss how the stars look out here.” Yaz looks up at the sky above them. It’s so beautiful, and it would be what they were doing at this point on a Friday anyway. “Thought you’d appreciate it.”

“You’re always so kind Yasmin Khan.” 

“Why are you calling me Yasmin?” Yaz chuckles nervously. That hasn’t happened in a while. 

“I…well I just- I’m going to… I want to tell- maybe show how… how much I-”

“You’re stumbling Jakey.” Yaz smiles kindly.

“I know. I know, I just really want to… I really want t’...” 

Jake tails off into broken breaths. Under the water Yaz feels Jake's hands glide around her waist as they step closer, holding her close but with enough room to run, or swim, away. But away from what? In a way, Yaz knows what they’re doing but she refuses to believe she’s not dreaming. Jake taps patterns against Yaz’s sides, holding her in a similar manner, trying to calm themself although Yaz notices how fast their eyelashes are blinking and their mouth is twitching and- 

_ Oh. _

Jake kisses her. Kind of. They make an attempt to kiss, not quite falling into a natural position of rhythm straight away and Yaz can tell they’re nervous but not enough to overtake their eagerness. Jake’s kind of… half sucking on her lips and half gently pressing against her. It’s something Yaz can work with but in the true reality of it all it doesn’t matter because  _ oh my god Jake is kissing her. _ They’re softer than Yaz could have ever imagined and although they’re bashing teeth a little Yaz still gets butterflies in every single internal organ and rightfully gets upset when Jake pulls away far too soon. 

“That was your first proper kiss wasn’t it?” Yaz remembers Jake’s admittance to inexperience and pushes their foreheads together, just so Jake has to stay and talk rather than run and panic again.

“Could you tell?” Jake's eyes grow wide with panic clearly having forgotten that they’ve already told Yaz. "I asked some guys what to do and I don't think they told me right."

“A little bit but it’s okay. Just relax next...” Yaz takes a sharp intake of breath realising what she’s implying. Too late to take it back now. “...time.” 

Usually one to avoid eye contact when situations get sticky and awkward, Jake defies their own behaviour and holds Yaz’s gaze like if they let go Yaz will be lost to them forever. Yaz doesn’t let her eyes flicker away either, not even a slight millimeter. The longer this goes on the more the person opposite her looks like they’ve got a frog in their throat.

“I don’t know if I want to have sex.” Jake blurts out, their mind evidently racing with where Yaz might be taking this.

“That’s okay too.” Yaz smiles as reassurance.

“I might.” Jake nods. Whatever's going on in their head is making them spiral and Yaz can’t stop it.

“Jakey I really don’t mind.” Yaz let her fingers outline the tattoo on Jake’s side trying to keep them calm but it’s too late. Jake’s already retreated. 

“I haven’t really explored it.”

“Jake.” 

“If you want to I might be able to-” 

“Jake!” Yaz raises her voice. Jake stops and comes back to her. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to or you don’t like. I don't want you to have sex with me if you don't like even the mere thought of it.” 

Yaz raises her arms out of the water to cup Jake’s blushing face. This isn’t how Yaz imagined this detour going but their hesitancy is making Yaz adore Jake. Just simply adore them for how much they want this to be right because that means Jake is being genuine in how they feel.

“I like kissing you.” Jake quietly confesses, leaning their cheek into Yaz’s palm.

“So kiss me.” Yaz instructs. 

Keen to please Jake tries again, this time not pulling on the information they were given by whatever boys they asked. It’s better- much better and Yaz feels herself sinking into the water. They’re both covered up to their shoulders, sinking into each other, feeling each other, chasing each other's lips until they need time to remember to breathe. Foreheads rest together. Yaz lets Jake commit every detail of her face to memory.

As Jake does so Yaz notices Bill silently letting the rapid carry her body around the route, open mouthed and constantly watching the pair of them. Jake doesn’t see, thankfully, as eyes once again close with oxygen levels replenished. Again, Yaz indulges Jake. They’ve both waited long enough to pluck up the courage. 

“No heavy petting.” Bill’s voice breaks them apart. 

Jake grabs onto Yaz’s hand, begging her to stay with them. The pair stay put breaking out into hushed laughter as Bill’s surprised face disappears around the corner. Yaz mumbles a curse while Jake’s head falls into Yaz’s shoulder. Yaz holds them, hugs them, Jake strokes Yaz’s back, Yaz caresses Jake’s face. They’re smiling, both of them, too stupidly for words. 

“I mean it.” Bill comes around again to threaten them. 

With the same synchronized thought Jake and Yaz use all their force to splash a wave of water at her, forcing her away. She doesn't loop around for the fourth time. 

* * *

Four Years Later

Yaz lays by the pool at the Greek villa listening to the cicadas sing during the late afternoon sun. Jake swims, like they have daily for the past week and wades out of the water for the last time today before they shower and go out to eat in a couple of hours. 

“Had enough?” Yaz asks, handing them their towel. 

“For today.” Jake says, blatantly staring at Yaz’s barely covered body. “You're so attractive it makes me want to cry.” They sigh. 

"You sure have a way with words Jake." Yaz chuckles. 

Jake sighs contently, pushing their sunbed closer to Yaz so that they can sit close together and read their books. It’s only been a week and Yaz is already halfway through her second book. Of course they’ve explored and had day trips and even hired out a boat for the day but somehow the days seem like they last forever, they get so much packed into their travels. When she’s unable to properly take in the plot Yaz puts down the slab of paper and starts to think about when she’s going to shower and get ready to make the most of their time. However, when Yaz stops turning her own pages she notes after five minutes that Jake hasn’t turned any pages at all.

“Not grabbing your attention?” Yaz asks.

“Listen Yaz,” Jake sits up in preparation to approach a subject Yaz doesn’t know about. “is it alright with you if I soft pack tonight?” Jake asks. 

“Course it is. Why are you asking me, you don’t need to ask me? You don’t tell me when you’re binding.” Yaz frowns at Jakes need to ask her what they can and can’t do with their own appearance. 

“I know but I guess I just want to tell you it’s happening.” Jake explains. 

“So why not just tell me it’s happening? You know I’d accept it.” Yaz nudges them with her elbow. 

“Nervous.” Jake shrugs. 

“Still after all these years?” Yaz smirks. 

“You make me swoon.” Jake teases. 

Back being totally comfortable with no pending questions or surprises the two lovers bask in the last of the afternoon sun like lizards on a rock wall. It’s beautiful here. Truly stunning scenery and really friendly people. Yaz has to be woken up by Jake to not sleep through all of their going out preparation time. They take turns to shower, Yaz going first since Jake always complains about her taking far too long to  _ ‘pretty up something that’s already perfect’ _ , however today Jake takes longer. Not wanting to patronize them asking if they need help with anything Yaz waits patiently catching up with social media and her parents back in England. When Jake does appear though Yaz’s breath gets caught in her throat. Jake’s hair that is glowing blonder thanks to the sun is tied back showing the shorter shaven parts that Yaz loves to run her fingers through so much. They wear black jean shorts that cover her above the knee, held up by blue braces. Then a hideous exotic button up shirt with the top couple of buttons undone to flash a bit of skin. Jake stands with their hands in their pockets waiting for Yaz’s approval, despite knowing that Yaz  _ hates _ those god awful shirts despite how good Jake looks in them. 

“You look so handsome.” Yaz grins, extending her arms to rest them over Jake’s shoulders. Never will she get bored at the sight of Jake. 

“I feel confident.” Jake grabs onto Yaz’s exposed waist thanks to her top that only covers the top half of her torso.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Feel good.” Jake beams with pride in themself. 

“Good.” Yaz is pleased. 

The two set off down to the local town and straight to the restaurant hidden at the end of the road by olive trees. It’s never that busy, Jake noted the first couple of nights, and tonight since they’re feeling extra loved up and carried away with the romance of Greece it’s nice to be in a secluded part where they can be themselves. Jake walks with an added spring to their step and Yaz can tell that the hidden addition to their outfit is giving Jake a whole load of happiness. It’s a new thing they’re trying and Yaz can see the difference every time.

They get seated and browse leisurely through the menu handed to them. They order starters mains and drinks and silently admire the view.

“So. We’re halfway through.” Yaz says to stop Jake daydreaming about swimming in the ocean in the distance. Aptly during the time it takes Jake to swing themself around in their chair their drinks are delivered. “What’s your favourite part so far?” She asks. 

Jake takes the time to take a sip of their drink before answering.

“That thing we did last night…”

Yaz subtly kinks an eyebrow. “The game of ping pong or the other thing?” 

A year into their relationship Jake expressed that they wanted to try out some things of a sexual nature. Just small things like getting used to each other naked, little bits of sexual touching that happened between big intervals when Jake was comfortable. Yaz always makes sure that Jake isn’t just doing it because they catch her masturbating or having some private time on her own but no they always insist that this is what they want to explore. It’s taken years to build up to it, happily going along as they were with no protest from either party, but last night Jake came for the first time. Not by Yaz’s hand but by their own with Yaz by their side. Now it seems like they’ve been bitten by a bug they can’t resist.

“The other thing.” Jake blushes. 

“We can do it again tonight if you like.” Yaz lowers her voice as to not be overheard.

“Um maybe not so soon I mean I don’t- I wouldn’t mind watchin’ you-”

“Jakey.” Yaz rests her hand on their knee under the table. She didn’t mean to cause such a reaction but manages to grab Jake’s eye. “Only what you’re comfortable with when and if you’re comfortable. I don’t expect anything, you know that.” 

“So good to me.” Jake takes Yaz’s hand where it rests.

“Shut up, it’s basic consent.” Yaz scoffs at them.

Jake smiles and goes back to gazing out to sea.

“I could stay here forever.” They announce wistfully.

“Bill would never forgive us.” 

“You must know what I mean though.” Jake’s attention turns back to fully on Yaz. Yaz listens just as intently. “I wish we could travel properly. Move from country to country and stuff.” 

“Well, that might be fine when we retire but for now two weeks away at a time with you, with all the money we’ve saved is more than enough for me.”

“Really?” Jake asks doubtfully.

“It’s the perfect set up for now Jake. I mean look at where we are!” Yaz gestures at the scenery around them.

“I guess we  _ are _ still travelling.” Jake admits. 

“I don’t care so long as I’m with you. And I’m with you, whatever happens.” Yaz reminds them.

“I love you.” Jake squeezes Yaz's fingers.

“I love you too.” Yaz grins, still somehow not used to hearing the confession. 

“When we get back can we watch the stars?” 

“Steady on, the starters haven’t even come yet.” Yaz giggles at Jake’s eagerness to skip to the good bit they love so much. 

“I wanna go to the market tomorrow. I read that there’s a special thing going on where they do this traditional taste testing thing and I think…”

Yaz listens to Jake ramble all evening. She could listen to them ramble on all her life because somehow working together, living together and holidaying together hasn’t stopped Yaz’s love for Jake. Because she does love Jake. Every day. No matter the country they’re in. Or solar system or galaxy or universe. She’s sticking with Jake to the end and beyond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! I'm taking a little break from writing and here is basically why https://kiras-monkey-bum-face.tumblr.com/post/638791389168222208/ I wish you all a happy new year and that you enjoy the special!! 
> 
> twitter: @helenasmells


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